51
Ryan
Ipull into her driveway and throw myself out of the car door as if the driver’s seat was on fire. Pacing up to her front door, I bang against the wood – if she doesn’t answer in the next ten seconds, I might actually break it down.
Just as I think I start to feel it splintering under my fingers, she opens it. I stand there, frozen with my arm hanging in the air, mid-knock, and I start to think that I’ve made a huge mistake, right from the start.
Christine is in front of me, in all her natural beauty. She’s wearing jogging bottoms, with an oversized sweatshirt slipping off one shoulder. Her hair is wild, as always, framing her blushing face and her wide, surprised eyes.
I swallow, but my heart won’t budge from my throat.
“I lied to you this morning.”
I spit the words out as quickly as I can, before I can start to run away again.
“I wasn’t asleep.”
“O-okay.”
I take a deep breath, ready to show her just how much of a dick I am.
“I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay there, in bed with you, watching your movements, your expressions. I wanted to count your breaths and wait for sunrise, to see whether the light could make you even more beautiful.”
“And did it?”
“Mmm?”
“Did it make me more…beautiful?”
I smile. “Fuck, yes.”
She smiles too, blushing an even deeper shade of red.
“I shouldn’t have lied to you, but then this morning, I saw your face when you found me in the kitchen. I knew you weren’t expecting it, that you thought I’d just fuck off like I did the first time. I saw it in your eyes and…I don’t know, I got scared to show you that I’m not always a bastard. I don’t know if that makes sense.”
“You have no idea how many things make sense to me.”
My God, does she always have to have the perfect response to everything?
“Well, I should have told you.”
“Thank you for telling me now.”
“But that’s not the only reason I came back.”
I gather up my courage and approach her, watching confusion shadow her expression.
“I wasn’t honest with you. I wasn’t myself.”
“I don’t get it.”
“I decided to only show you what I wanted you to see. I hid the rest – I hid myself.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s how I have to be. Otherwise I’ll get hurt again. I treat others badly so that they can’t do the same to me and…I wanted to hurt you. But then I saw you… I saw you, I felt you and… I don’t want to. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”
“Ryan, you didn’t…”
