“Don’t be dramatic, Ryan. What do you mean ‘publicised’? We’re your family!”
“I don’t remember you being this nosy when Ian started seeing Riley.”
“Well, Ian was more discreet – we found out once they were together. But you’re an open book. You always have been.”
I scoff impatiently, slouching onto a chair.
“So…” Ian tries again. “You could’ve invited her round for lunch.”
“Why should I have?” It’s pointless by now trying to pretend that nothing’s going on – they’ve already stuck their noses into my life.
“Come on, Ryan,” Mum responds. “I know I’m your mother, and there are certain things you don’t have to tell me, but that’s not the right way to treat someone. If you…slept at her house, the least you could do is invite her for lunch. Otherwise she’ll feel…how shall I put it…?”
“Like a slut,” Nick finishes for her.
“Nick O’Connor!” Mum cries.
“That’s what you meant.”
“I didn’t treat her like…I don’t think she…”
I close my eyes and hold the cool beer bottle against my forehead.
Did I really make her feel like that?
“Oh look, he got there all on his own,” Ian says, walking over to me and patting my shoulder.
“We’re not like you and Riley,” I say, trying to defend myself.
“Of course. Every relationship is different, Ryan.”
“Relationship? We’re not in a relationship.”
“What do you want to call it, then?” Dad pipes up again.
I sigh, exhausted. I think I’ll try avoiding family lunches from now on.
“Look, Ryan… You can call it whatever you want. You can be dating her, seeing her, whatever…but that doesn’t change anything. I don’t think sneaking away this morning was the right way for an O’Connor to behave.”
“It’s not like I snuck away in the middle of the night – we all had breakfast together this morning.”
Fuck. I can’t keep anything to myself.
“This just gets worse and worse,” Mum says, shaking her head. “You should have invited both of them!”
“Should I?” I ask, panicking now.
They all look at me, nodding.
I drop my head into my hands and rest my elbows on my knees.
“You can do it, Ryan,” Dad says, laying a hand on my shoulder. “One step at a time.”
I bolt upright at the sound of those words.
One step at a time.The exact words she said to me last night, when she let me take everything I wanted from her. She gave me the space I needed. And I just left. ‘See you’, I said.
No kiss, no hug – not even a handshake.
Nothing.
See you.
Like the biggest bastard ever.
Like the man I’m starting to resemble more and more with every passing day. The man I tried so hard to be; but maybe now it’s time to let him go.
