41
Ryan
Ipress her against the door, imprisoning her. I breathe onto her face, inhaling her fear, her anxiety.
I breathe her in, and forget in an instant how I ever breathed before, when I only used my own lungs to survive.
“You shouldn’t come here, shouldn’t come looking for me.”
I try to be tough, to ignore the fact that she’s here, in my apartment, invading my space. That we’re alone, together. And that I’m terrified at the idea of her leaving.
“So, what, you can just turn up at my house whenever you like and I can’t do the same?” she says, composing herself.
“Exactly.”
“Are you serious, Ryan?” she asks, sliding out of my prison and appearing behind my back.
I turn around to face her.
“I just came to…God, you’re impossible! I don’t understand why I try so hard with you!” She starts to pace around my living room. “I just wanted to talk to you about yesterday, to thank you for taking Evan to the game, for…What an idiot!” She flops down onto my sofa.
“There was no need. You made it very clear.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You and your doctor…”
“How did you know he’s a doctor?”
Fuck.
“I worked it out.”
“From what?”
I scoff. “Come on, the other night, he was wearing a shirt…”
She looks at me, lifting an eyebrow.
“Anyway, you don’t owe me an explanation. You don’t owe me anything.”
“Exactly,” she jumps up, furiously.
“I don’t care who you fuck.”
“And I don’t care if you go out with that…Barbie,” she says, throwing her hands up.
What the fuck is happening? We’re fighting like a married couple. How did we get here? We’re not even a couple!
“You could’ve saved me the trouble of fucking you, seeing as you’re already…busy,” the words fly out of my stomach in flames.
I know that we’re not anything. She doesn’t owe me anything. I was the one who told her that this means nothing – but to know that she was with me while her ex was waiting at home…
“How can you say that? You know nothing about me.”
“And I don’t want to know anything.”
“Good!” she yells, heading for the front door.
