“Hurry up!” I groan, my arms and back shaking under the strain of holding her up. “You must’ve eaten too much giant snail monster!”
“No, wait—” Sandra starts, but it’s too late. My strength gives out, and we both stumble, collapsing in a heap.
“Aww,” she pouts.
I straighten, trying not to laugh, noticing wisps of steam rising from her drenched head.
“What’s so funny?” she frowns.
“Oh, nothing,” I say, trying to keep a straight face, fingers covering my quivering lips. “Just... you look like your head just came out of an oven.” I chuckle.
“Oven?” Sandra touches her head, confused. “What the hell? It’s almost dry already!” She runs a hand through her hair, eyes wide. “This placeisa bloody oven.” She holds out her hands, interlocked, offering me a boost. “Your turn.”
I wave her off. “I’m good.”
Sandra stares at me like I’ve just run naked through Times Square. “Maybe Carmen was right. You do have lizard skin,” she smirks.
My brows wrinkle into a frown. “Very funny. Wait... I’ve got an idea,” I say, nodding at her gnomish leather clothes. “Take those off.”
“Huh?” Sandra replies, frowning. With her steaming head, she looks like an angry gnome. “My clothes?” She sounds incredulous.
“Don’t give me that look.” I tug at her tunic, trying to yank the thing off. “It’s not like we haven’t seen each other doing way worse.” I shudder...
That disgusting hole in the ground. I am the toilet.
Sandra shrugs out of her clothes, down to her leather underwear, and I stretch, drenching them in the basin.
“Oh, good idea!” she says as the realization finally hits her.
“I’m full of them,” I reply smugly, feeling a surge of pride.
“Uh-huh?” Sandra asks, popping my balloon of joy before it even has a chance to lift off. “Like when you screamed like a lunatic through the streets? Or when you tried to run away?”
Wait, I did? I don’t remember that.
“Or better yet, when you told Dracoth to screw you before insulting his parents?”
Fucking hell.
Hearing it spoken somehow makes it worse. “Lalalala,” I cringe, covering my ears, wishing the baking floor would swallow me whole.
“Lexie...” Sandra presses, her voice muffled through my hands, tinged with disappointment.
“I mean, I was drunk! And the giant bore kept yanking my chain... literally!” I blurt, pulling down Sandra’s soaked clothes from the basin, hoping to distract her.
It doesn’t work.
“But you got us in trouble, Lexie!” Sandra snatches the sodden garments from my grip. “More of those armored fellas showed up,” she adds, tugging on her outfit, her tight-lipped annoyance giving way to a small sigh of relief. “Class... so much better.”
My face heats with embarrassment, the words tumbling out before I can think. “Well... maybe we’d be better off without him.Have you ever thought about that?” I throw the suggestion out like a stinky rotten egg.
Was that what I was thinking? It’s all hazy now.
“That new Demon Egg-Head guy said I was free. He even tossed my collar into the lava.”
“He’s an Elder,” Sandra corrects, grimacing as if the title means something.
“Whatever,” I wave it off dismissively. “Not like I need to remember all this garbage they keep babbling about. I mean, who’s to stop us from walking out of here right now?” I gesture to the chamber’s exit.
