I shake my head like I’ve been slapped. Unbelievable. Betrayed even by Sandra. I thought she was better than this. It’s all too much. Darkness threatens to ooze out of my soul, yearning to lash out, to hurt her. I could wound her easily. Remind her of all her failures with Dracoth. Teach her a lesson. She deserves it.
I am the toilet.
The mantra interrupts my spiraling anger, just long enough for me to take a deep breath. No, I’m overreacting... but I’m still pissed at the lying bitch.
“Fine. Whatever.” I snap, folding my arms as I storm past her.
“Lexie...” Sandra’s voice trails after me, weak, like some half-hearted apology that won’t make a difference.
“Lexie what?” I sneer, picking up the pace like I’m doing that ridiculous Olympic speed-walking. “I try to keep us together, for our own safety, and you’re out herelyingto me?” My voice practically sizzles with the heat of a lava stream. “Honestly, it’s ridiculous.”
“Lexie, I’m really sorry. If I’d known how—”
“Oh, what’s that!” I cut Sandra off, pointing toward a square enclosure carved into the rocky hill. “Let’s go meet Farmer Joe.” Relieved at the sight, I navigate the jagged rocks with newfound determination.
My relief, though, quickly melts into a wrinkled nose. “Why does it smell like shit?” The answer hits me the moment I crest the hill—giant snail monsters. Dozens of them, slimy, oozing, and...disgusting.
“Eww, gross!” I exclaim, turning to Sandra, who looks far too pleased with herself.
“Hail, humans!” A deep voice echoes from within the stone pen of stinky horrors.
I turn to see Farmer Joe—Farmer Letdown. Not the hunk Sandra promised, but the smallest alien I’ve seen yet, barely taller than me, with wispy gray hair and grimy, worn, scaly leather clothes. He waves us over while pouring a bucket of water into a trough.
“Gorgeous, you said,” I groan, shooting Sandra a withering look. Somehow, this is worse than my wildest fears. I mean, he’s not even wearing a hat!
“Ack, but he’s really friendly,” Sandra mutters.
Friendly? I bet he is! He saw two humans and thought:Here come the suckers.
“Hello, Celutok!” Sandra waves back like they’re besties now.
Farmer Celutok strides over, his grin stretching across his overly broad face. “Hail, I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting you yet.” He bows deeply toward me.
Well, at least he has manners. I reach out to shake his hand—until I notice the slimy, luminous mucus coating his arm from the elbow down.
Barf.
“A pleasure, I’m sure. I’m Alexandra.” I incline my head with a smile that I’m sure doesn’t touch my eyes as I glance around nervously, wondering what the hell we’re doing here.
“Celutok’s a...” Sandra chimes in, trying to fill the awkward silence. “What are they called again?”
“Snarlbrocs!” Celutok beams with pride, gesturing toward the grotesque giant snail monsters. They ooze around the mucky pen with an unnerving, languid grace, their slimy, elongated tentacles grasping at the air like a pervert’s hands in a nightclub.
Ugh, so gross.
“Yep, best herd this side of Scarn. My little babies, they are.”
Not creepy at all.
“Yeah, Snarlbrocs. Thanks, Celutok,” Sandra says, as if any of this matters even remotely. “You’ve been raising them your whole life, right?”
“That’s correct, little female,” he nods, patting his chest with pride. “You see, the Gods didn’t bless me like they did my brothers, but I found my calling here—with the animals.”
“You’re too hard on yourself, Celutok,” Sandra says, her tone soft with concern. She’s not wrong. Back on Earth, Celutok would have an impressive build—assuming he actually washed the slime off. “And an affinity with animals is a blessing in itself,” she adds, smiling as sweet as honey.
“Ah, you’re far too kind.” Celutok beams at her words, the red of his skin deepening. “At least I can still serve the clan and find honor in my place.” His gaze drifts off, and I can’t help but wonder what he’s staring at. Then, his brown eyes flicker back to us. “But you females didn’t come here to listen to me blather on, did you?”
Good question. What the hell are we here for?
