“Maybe next time, take the flowers and let him inside so you can talk?”
“Maybe. I just… How did you know how to trust them?” I whisper. “How could you tell they really cared for you?”
“They courted me,” he says. “In more than just the formal way.”
“Meaning?”
“They took care of me when I needed it. Stood by me. Healed my heart.” He shakes his head. “Proved themselves over and over without my asking. That’s when I knew.”
I nod. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Then don’t let him in,” Sawyer says. “You don’t have to. Just because he’s buying you flowers doesn’t mean you have an obligation to go out with him.”
He’s right. Absolutely right. I should take his advice and not feel pressured.
The only problem is that my heart is saying yes, yes, yes, let Zach in. And it’s broken because Atticus and Ryder haven’t joined him in courting me.
At my age, you’d think I’d know better, than I would let logic rule, but here you have it.
I want to be a hard-ass but in fact, I’m a softie, soft as the plushie cushion I sleep with. Squishy and needy.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll let Zach in.
36
COCO
Work goes smoothly, distracting me enough from my thoughts of the three alphas that my mood lightens. But as the afternoon rolls around, the decision to let Zach back in returns to… not exactly haunt me, because it’s not a bad thing, but to fill my thoughts with hope.
And let’s admit it, a fair amount of joy, as well as apprehension.
Am I making a mistake?
Will this turn out okay?
Will he give me a good excuse for his behavior?
At home, I busy myself baking peanut cookies and cleaning. Evening can’t come fast enough. I putter about the apartment, humming under my breath and shaking my booty.
If only Atticus could see me now, I think, and sadness swamps me.
Thankfully, my phone starts ringing and I dive for it, wondering if it’s Zach.
But it’s June. “Coco! How is my bestie doing?”
“Woman.” Shock forces me to sit, and of course I land right on top of a book I’d left on the sofa. “Ow!”
“What is it?”
“Nothing,” I mutter. “Involuntary ass invasion.”
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing.” I laugh, extracting the book from underneath my ass. “I was cleaning the apartment and left things lying about. I sat on a book. On an edgy story, obviously.”
“You’re crazy.”
“There is a method to my madness.” I pause. “Haha, I’m kidding. No method at all. Just pure chaos.”
