His gaze widens, then narrows. “You’re fucking with me. Did Ryder say that?”
“He did.”
Atticus studies my face as if he doesn’t believe me. Then he looks away. “What the fuck.”
“You didn’t know,” I whisper.
“No, but I should have guessed he was hiding something awful. That’s why he said…” He shakes his head. “Damn.”
I hadn’t been sure Ryder was telling the truth, but seeing Atticus’ reaction removes some of the doubt. “What did he say? When?”
“He implied something had happened in his past to make him unfit for relationships.” This time, his chuckle is bitter. “It makes my story seem silly by comparison.”
And now I’m even more intrigued. “Silly?”
“Nobody died. My family is hopefully alive and well, living their happily ever after.”
“Your family? You mean your parents and siblings?”
“That’s not what I meant, I…” He surges to his feet and takes a few steps away. “I’m making this worse.”
“I don’t think you can,” I tell him frankly.
It earns me another bitter chuckle. “You’re right again. Let me tell you my sob story then, my origin story as you called it, and leave you in peace.”
I fold my arms, bracing myself. I don’t know what to expect. After Ryder’s story, I can expect just about anything.
“My story isn’t that dramatic, I’m afraid,” he says, and I almost bare my teeth at him, ready to snap a reply. He lifts his hands. “Sorry, that was uncalled for. What I meant was, nothing terrible happened. Once, when I was much younger, I fell in love.”
A hide a wince. The thought of him in love with someone—someone else—shouldn’t bother me. I shouldn’t care one bit.
“I fell in love with a couple of pretty girls. An omega and a beta. They had already been together before I arrived on the scene. We clicked. I thought this was it. This is the start of my pack. What is expected of me. They said they knew another great beta to add to the group. Then another. Great guys. It was a great pack in the making. I just…”
I wait, but he paces around the room, prowling like a caged animal.
“I tried,” he finally says. “I tried to be the alpha they needed. To make the decisions, satisfy everyone, and set up a home and a nest. Prepare for heats and the arrival of babies. Make sure I was making enough money to cover all expenses if necessary. Be their leader, their lover, their father, their everything. And… I had a breakdown.”
I watch him stop and clench his fists.
“I had taken on too much. The pressure was too fucking great. I didn’t feel I was up to the task. Every hour I spent working to cover expenses was an hour I spent away from the pack, and they complained. They wept. They said they needed me home. They needed more from me. I wasn’t taking enough responsibility. Wasn’t shouldering enough. And then our omega’s heat arrived and I… I ran.”
I stare at him. At his large, powerful alpha telling me his story, his voice breaking, his big shoulders slumping. What this story tells me is that… he’s only human.
And my heart goes out to him. Strangely, I like him a little bit more now, knowing he’s kinda broken inside. Understanding why he pushed me away the moment things got hot between us.
“Wait,” I whisper, “wait… Did you push me away because you thought I might go into heat?”
He shrugs. “It did cross my mind. But mainly, I thought that I didn’t want to be with anyone. That I couldn’t shoulder that responsibility again.”
“And now you’ve changed your mind? Or is this all?”
“You…” He sighs. “From the moment I saw you, I felt a pull. The more time I spent with you, the more time I wanted. For you… I’d try again. I know it’s not much to go on. It’s not a promise everything will go according to plan, but for my side, Coco… I’d give it a try.”
“I see.” I won’t deny that my heart does a happy dance in my chest. Problem is, it’s the same kind of dance it did for Ryder, so where does that leave us? “Is the idea of having children such an issue?”
“What?” He frowns at me.
“You said that it was an issue for you in the past.”
