Roman slips his shirt over his head, but even with it on, the wings of the songbirds peek out from the top, reminding me of the strange initials on his back. “Hey, I’ve never seen the tattoo of the birds on your back. It’s really neat.”
“Thanks. I got it for Talia. Birds symbolize immortality.”
“What do the initials NC mean, then?”
“Natalia Castillo,” he says. Why does that name sound so familiar to me? “That was Talia’s real name. She didn’t take my name when we got married. She wanted to keep some separation, so she wasn’t a target.”
That explains why I never found any records for in the hospital. All of a sudden, an idea hits me. I’ve been thinking about the perfect way to thank Roman for everything he did yesterday, and maybe now that I know Talia’s real name, I can figure out what happened. Bringing him a bit of relief and closure could be the perfect thing.
“That’s really beautiful, Roman.”
“Thanks.” He kisses me one more time. “I’ll call you in a bit to check in. Please don’t give Ernie a hard time.”
“Yes, sir.” I fake salute him.
Roman groans, dropping his head back. “Fuck, I love it when you call me that.”
“I love you,” I call after him.
“I love you, too, Maddie.”
After Roman leaves, I quickly get myself ready. I’m anxious to get to work now that I know Talia’s real name. I don’t know what I’ll do with the information once I find it, but I have to try. There’s no doubt in my mind that Roman will seek revenge on whoever is responsible, but doesn’t he deserve to? Talia is dead, and no one is being held accountable. It goes against everything I took an oath for, but I kind of understand it.
When I get to the hospital, I check on my patients. It’s a relatively quiet morning in the emergency room, but I don’t dare say that out loud. By ten o’clock, it’s almost a ghost town, so I head upstairs to the Records department.
“Hey Juliana!” I greet the tech. “I’m looking for an old file a client is requesting. Could you take a look for me?”
“Absolutely.” She smiles. “What’s the name?”
“It’s Natalia Castillo.”
“Hmm.” She frowns, sympathy filling her eyes. “I know exactly who you’re talking about. Such a tragedy. Dr. Bauer was actually looking at this file this week, too.”
Bauer was looking into this? Something about the timing of all of this feels off.
She grabs the file off the counter and hands it to me. “Here you go.”
I thank her, and then I quickly turn toward the lounge.
The file feels like it’s burning a hole in my hand, but I want to be alone when I look through it. I’m anxious about what I’m going to find, and even more anxious about what I’m going to do once I know. How could I ever keep something like this from Roman, knowing how it eats him up?
When I finally reach the lounge, I shut the door behind me and nearly fall back into my chair. I brace myself before opening it.
At first, it looks like a routine case. While critically injured when she arrived, she was at least stable. They rushed her intoemergency surgery to stop the internal bleeding and the surgeon on-call was…Dr. Bauer.
That bastard. He wasn’t protecting someone else; he was protecting himself.
I clench my jaw, digging further into the file. Talia’s official cause of death was that she lost too much blood, which seems odd for someone who was declared stable. I turn to the medications page and when I do, my heart stops. Why is my signature on this page? Did I—Oh my God.
Things start to come back to me. I had just started my training at St. Luke’s with Dr. Bauer as my mentor. It was so early on that I wasn’t even cleared to participate in surgery yet, so when he was called into an emergency surgery that day, I had to wait outside. After a few minutes, he asked me to go to the meds station and get a dose of Warfarin. It’s a common blood thinner and we use it a lot when we’re worried about people getting clots post surgery, but it’s the exact opposite of what someone would use when the patient is still actively bleeding. Since I was outside, I didn’t know what was happening during the procedure, so I took his word for it. I got the Warfarin and brought it back for him. When I got back, he swore he had asked me for a clotting medication instead, and said that I must have misheard in the commotion of things. He sent me off to get the right medication, but he kept the Warfarin, and I didn’t even think twice about it because I was so embarrassed I messed it up to begin with. Except now, I don’t think I messed up at all.
There was no mistake. No miscommunication. It was intentional. No wonder Bauer had tried so hard to hide this from Roman. Bauer meant tokillTalia, and I gave him the medication to do it.
I feel sick as I stare at my name on the medicine log. Tears well in my eyes as I realize what this means. I might not have been the one to kill Talia, but if I had paid more attention or taken themeds back myself, or something—anything—maybe I could’ve stopped it.
God, Roman is never going to forgive me.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
