I don’t even know what to say as Roman talks. No one has ever said anything like that to me before, and my emotions are just fraught enough that I might cry again.
“I’m sorry about how I reacted when you told me. I know you weren’t asking me to quit or anything like that, but it reminded me of so many conversations that I had with Talia where she tried to get me to leave. It’s not an excuse, but I was scared, because I’m in love with you, too. And the thought of you leaving fucking destroyed me, so I panicked and went back to pushing you away to protect myself.”
“Don’t you know by now that you can’t scare me off so easily?” I smile.
“I do.” Roman nods. “And you know what else I know? None of that other stuff matters, because even if you decide to go, we’ll find a way to work this out.”
“Really?” I’m not usually such a crier, but today has completely taken it out of me and I start again. It’s almost pitiful at this point.
“Absolutely. Los Angeles is only like four and a half hours from here. Probably three and a half with the way I drive.” He chuckles. “But if you decide it’s the best thing for you, then we’ll make it work. Obviously, I don’t want to go a day without seeing you, but it’s better than losing you for good. And I’d never ask you to give up something like that for us. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me and Ty.”
“Roman, I…” Words completely fail me. No one has ever supported me the way he is, and it is as beautiful as it is heartbreaking.
“I love you, Maddie. I know it’s soon and that we have so much left to learn about each other, but I’ve never felt like this before.”
“Neither have I.” I shake my head. “I love you, too.”
“Good.” He smiles. “Because I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to be right here to support whatever you decide. Whether it’s here or LA or the moon.”
I burst out laughing, wiping the rest of my tears off of my cheek. “Roman, I really appreciate you saying all of that. Ineeded it after today.” He eyes me carefully. “But I really don’t know if LA is the right thing for me.”
“What are you talking about? Isn’t that your dream program?”
“It was. But I found out while I was home that I only got offered the position because my dad called in a favor. Which means he could have done it at any point. He just didn’t want to help me.”
“What?” Roman clenches his jaw. “Jesus, Maddie. I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t want to get into it all right now. I’m not giving up on it completely. I just think I need to slow down and really think it over. I can’t rush into something like that without being sure it’s the right choice.”
Everything about my career path has been go, go, go from the beginning and maybe a step back is exactly what I need to find a little clarity.
“Whatever you need, baby. I’m here for it.”
I lay back down next to him, my head on his shoulder, and he sweeps a kiss across my forehead. I know with every fiber of my being that coming home tonight was the right decision. Lying here next to him is the perfect ending to an otherwise terrible day, and nestled in Roman’s arms, safe and supported, is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
And thank God, so is he.
Chapter Thirty-Three
“I’mnotsosureabout this.” Maddie frowns, pushing her plate of barely touched tacos towards the center of the table.
We met for a quick lunch before I had to head into work, and she’s been distracted the entire time. In fact, she’s been a little aloof since she came back from St. Louis, but I haven’t pressed her on it. I know how raw and personal family issues can be, and I know she’ll come to me on her own time. It doesn’t mean I’m happy about it, or that it isn’t irritating the fuck out of me that I can’t figure out what is on her mind. But I’m trying a new thing where I am respectful of people’s boundaries, so instead of prying it out of her, I focus on the issue that sheistalking to me about—the hospital fundraiser gala this weekend.
“What exactly aren’t you sure about, babe?” I reach across the table and take her hand in mine. “Going to the gala or going with me as your date?”
Maddie looks at me like I’m crazy, but it’s a valid question. I’ve been to this gala before, among others, but this is Maddie’sfirst time and she doesn’t know what to expect. That uncertainty, plus all the stress she’s been under, has her completely strung out.
It’s been that way since she got back, but she hasn’t elaborated much more than what she told me in the hospital that night. That little snippet was enough to make me detest her father, and her whole family, for that matter. What kind of father wouldn’t help his child if he could? Especially when she’s worked so hard for it and he so readily did it for her brothers. While Maddie didn’t tell me directly, Ernie’s colorful account of how the conversation went down made me want to hop on a plane right then and confront the bastard in person. I could kill him for speaking to her the way he did, but I’ve managed to bite my tongue and not interfere out of sheer respect for her.
“Trust me, you aren’t the issue. If you didn’t agree to go with me, I wouldn’t even consider going at all.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
She lets out a heavy sigh. “I hate this kind of thing. It’s so over the top and excessive when all I really want to do is to be at home with you and Ty.”
“As much as I like the sound of that, I’m looking forward to showing you off as my girlfriend. And think of how much fun you and I will have sitting in the shadows and making fun of all the pretentious people there.” I’ve been to these kinds of parties a thousand times before, and if nothing else, the people watching is good. It usually is when you mix a bunch of Las Vegas elites with free alcohol and a chance to flaunt their wealth. At the silent auction last year, a signed Vegas Vipers jersey went for half a million dollars, and the whole damn team isn’t even worth that. One thing about old rich men, though, is that they rarely pass up an opportunity to throw their money around and that certainly benefits the hospital.
“Do we have to?” Maddie’s glossy lips pull into a pout.
