“After?” he says hopefully.
“I have to be up early.” I don’t know why I’m avoiding this like I am, but I’m not ready to rehash everything with Roman yet. And I feel like it’s a conversation we should have in person, not on a tiny little screen with spotty reception.
“Okay.” He bites his lip, nodding. “When you come back then.”
“Yeah.” My voice breaks, tears welling up in my eyes.Damn it. I didn’t want to cry. He’s the one who made this mess and I shouldn’t feel as terrible as I do.
My tears break his resolve. “Babe–”
“I’ve got to go, Roman. I’ll text you later.” I swallow, cutting him off. “Bye.”
“Bye Maddie.”
Ending the call, I toss my phone onto the bed and swipe my finger under my eye to fix my mascara. I have exactly two minutes to compose myself and get downstairs for this stupiddinner, and if history is any indication, my night is only going to get worse.
IalmostthoughtTyforgot about my promise to call Maddie tonight.
He mentioned it offhandedly while we were at the aquarium, but I distracted him with pizza and ice cream and a night swim out in the pool. But just as we were climbing the stairs to bed, he asked me to call her and I couldn’t resist.
It went about as well as I expected. I hate seeing her upset, each of those tears in her eyes like a tiny stab to my heart. Especially knowing I’m the reason behind them.
Maddie declared she was in love with me and then told me she was moving away all in one short conversation, and I’ve been trying to sort through that ever since. It’s not like I gave her any chance to explain, and that was a mistake, but the thought of losing her this way is a sucker punch.
She’s a part of us now. I can’t stomach the idea of Ty and I starting over from scratch again if she leaves. If. I have to keep reminding myself that she said she hasn’t even decided yet. But I can’t be the reason she gives up her dreams. That isn’t fair either.
This is exactly why this thing between us scares me. I’ve never put myself in a position to be hurt like this, and it fucking sucks.But I also know I’m not ready to give up on us, so something’s got to give.
I’ll be the first to admit I jumped the gun. I should have let her talk instead of assuming she was trying to get me to quit. Any suggestion like a move or change is a trigger to me, caused by years of Talia’s subtle attempts to drag me away from the Mafia, and I completely shut down after that. Madison isn’t Talia, though, and at the very least, I should have let her explain.
And now it looks like it’ll be awhile before I get the chance again. Maddie’s busy, and she doesn’t want to talk, and I have two more days to power through until she’s home.
“Ready for bed, bud?” I push Ty’s door open.
He’s already laying in bed with a stack of books for me to read, but a big yawn stretches at his mouth. We get through two of them before he can hardly keep his eyes open, and I helped him under the covers.
“Daddy, are you going to marry Maddie?”
Jesus, kid. Timing could not be worse on that one.
“I-I don’t know, Ty.” I stumble over the words, thinking how much easier that question would have been to answer twenty-four hours ago.
“Can you?” He gives me an innocent smile, but he knows exactly what he is doing. “I really like her, and she makes you happy.”
“What makes you say that?” A little, sharp laugh, amazed by how perceptive he is. Nothing gets past him, and the connection between Maddie and me is no exception.
“You smile more, and your eyes don’t look sad.”
“You’re too smart for your own good. You know that?” I grin, tickling him and sending him into a fit of squirming.
He giggles wildly until I stop, and then he settles again, clutching his stuffed dog to his chest.
“She’s not going to go away like Mommy did, is she?” The pain in his eyes shatters me as I sit on the bed next to him.
“Buddy…” I swallow, emotion catching in my throat. “Your mom didn’t just go away. She never would have left you if she had a choice. You know that, right?”
Ty nods timidly. “It’s because she got really hurt, right? By a bad man?”
“Yes.” I chew on my lip, treading lightly. He understands so much, but he is still just a kid, so I’m careful with what I share. “A very bad man. Like the one who hurt you. And I promise, I’m going to do everything I can to keep both you and Maddie safe.”
