“You want to explain a bodyguard to your parents over a boyfriend?” He chuckles, scratching his chin.
“I won’t have to explain it to them at all. I don’t think they’ll even know he’s there. Ernie keeps a good eye on things, but you’ve got the poor kid terrified to even look at me.”
“As he should be.” Roman smirks. “But I could keep my distance, too.”
I laugh out loud. “No, you couldn’t. There’s no chance we could be together all weekend and you could keep your hands to yourself.”
“You’re right. Keeping my hands to myself sounds like fucking torture.”
“And besides, I feel like with everything going on, you should be with Ty.”
“Yeah, I should. Hopefully, we’ll have some answers soon and things won’t have to be so tight.” His arm slides underneath me and he lifts me into his arms. “I guess if we’re going to be apart all weekend, I better send you off with abang, then, huh?”
Maddiesnugglesintomychest, still trying to catch her breath after the little cardio workout I just put her through. Something about the thought of not seeing her for a few days made me even more desperate for her than normal.
As she settles in, she looks up at me with a sleepy smile on her face. “Would you be surprised to find out that having my life threatened by an assassin wasn’t even the craziest thing to happen to me today?”
I can’t help but laugh. “Do I even want to know?”
“Well…” Her fingers trail up my chest. If she wants any semblance of a serious conversation right now, she’s going to have to stop touching me like that. “Dr. Bauer came to talk to me. I guess the fast-track trauma program in LA has an opening and they’re offering it to me.”
It takes a second for her words to register. Her dream program is offering her a position. In LA. I don’t say anything. I don’t trust what might come out of my mouth. What the fuck? Things have been going so well with us and now she might be leaving. It’s selfish of me to even think, because I know how much this means to her, but I hate every second.
“Wow. That’s…So you’d move to LA?”
Maddie bites her lip and nods. “I’d have to, yeah. But maybe you and Ty could come with—”
I cut her off with a low, exasperated groan and slide out from underneath her. “Maddie, this is what I was talking about. You said you understood that you couldn’t change me.”
“Roman.” She lets out a nervous laugh. “I’m not trying tochangeyou. All I did was suggest that potentially we go to LA for a while. Sorry, I thought things were going well enough between us that I could.”
“Yeah, so did I,” I growl. The way her face falls guts me, but, true to self, I can’t stop the bleeding, I just make it worse. “Look, I’m happy for you. And if that’s what you want, then you should do it. But I need to know sooner rather than later because Ty is really attached to you and it would really hurt him if you left.”
Maddie arches her eyebrow. “Just Ty?”
I know what she’s doing. She wants me to reassure her. To tell her how much it would fucking wreck me for her to leave. To do something besides shoot my walls up and block her out.
“How long have you known about this?”
“I found out this afternoon. It’s not like I was planning this behind your back, Roman. Honestly, I don’t know why you’re so upset. I don’t even know if I’m going to take it or not. You haven’t—”
“Of course you are.” I shake my head. “It’s your dream. It always has been, right?”
“It has, but that doesn’t mean—”
“Then I don’t see what the holdup is. Congratulations, I guess.”
Maddie’s face twists into a ferocious glare. “Jesus, Roman. If you’d stop interrupting me and actually let me talk, then you might know what the holdup is. It’syou.You and Ty.” She huffs, throwing herself out of bed and dragging my sheet with her to keep her body covered. “I’m in love with you and I actually picture a life together. At least I was. I think I’ll sleep in my own room tonight so I can pack. See you in a few days.”
“Maddie, wait—”
She doesn’t wait, though. She storms out of my room, slamming the door behind her. I hear her heavy, furious steps down the hall until she reaches her room.
Fuck! I feel like an absolute asshole. Even more than usual. I know I’m being selfish and unfair to her. There’s no way in hell that I’d ever ask her to give up her dream, no matter how badly I want to.
Love. That stirs up a storm of emotions in my heart, and I wish more than anything I would have told her I felt the same. Admitting it feels unbearably hard when I know she’s leaving, though.
The thought of her moving to LA kills me, so why couldn’t I just say that? Why did I have to revert to my old bastardly ways? Drive her away? Push her buttons until she was angry and upset?