I could see in his eyes that he liked where that suggestion was headed. He was clueless as to its real purpose, to get me the hell out of here.
Unfortunately, this suggestion would also further cement my reputation: the stable hand who slept with her employer’s son. I now regretted coming out tonight. I should have just stayed at home.
He grabbed my hand and walked me right out of that club. He held it all the way to the truck and as he opened the door for me. He only let go to shut the door and then run around to the driver’s side.
Our drive home was interesting. We were both coming down from the raging hormones that took over when we were dancing that close.
“That was a hell of a show,” he said.
“Yeah, it was,” I said.
He made a show of connecting his phone to the truck stereo and selecting the song “‘Cool Again” by Kane Brown. I had no doubt this was another song he selected on purpose. He wanted me to read between the lines.
I sat digesting the lyrics.
He looked over at me, as if sensing a change in my mood.
“When you said you didn’t have a problem blurring the lines, I had no idea that you would be that good at it,” he told me.
He pulled out onto the main highway, heading back home.
“I didn’t realize I would be, either,” I admitted.
“Well, let me tell you, that was amazing,” he said.
“Thank you,” I said with a small smile.
Then he was silent for a moment. I listened to the song while wind forced its way into the cab through the open windows.
“About this fake dating thing…” Riley said.
Oh no, this was it. This was where he told me that it’d been fun, I served my purpose, and now we would go back to friends who just tolerated each other. I wasn’t expecting this so soon. I was hoping to have more time to enjoy it. That’s the reason for the song currently playing. He wanted to remain friends after this.
“What about it?” I asked bravely.
I was ready. I wouldn’t cry.
“I don’t want it to be fake,” Riley said quickly.
I felt the air leave my lungs in a rush.
“Emma, there is something about you that draws me in. Even when I hated you, I didn’t really. I was still drawn to you, still wanted you. Hanging out with you opened my eyes to how much I have to learn about horses, women, life. I realized I want to learn that all with you, only you. I know I asked you to be my fake girlfriend, but from that very moment I asked, I wanted it all to be real. I don’t know what you think, but all of this has been real. None of it was an act, not for me.”
The air left my lungs again, and I couldn’t breathe. The car was silent for a few minutes aside from the music. It almost became awkward.
Riley wanted to make this more. I wouldn’t have expected an admission like that, not from him. Now that I knew his feelings, I felt the remaining pieces of the wall I had built around my heart break. They crumbled at his words.
Riley wanted this to be real; this didn’t have to have an expiration date. Could I be with him for real, though?
I knew what my body and my heart wanted, but my head was logical. He had hurt me, over and over; he wasn’t there for me when my parents died. He did a lot of questionable things over the years. But my heart knew that Riley was a good person.
That same heart remembered us in our early elementary years, inseparable. He used to pick me up when I fell, and he would always give me his brownie, even though I had known he really wanted it. That little boy was in Riley still; I could feel it. That boy was full grown and sexy as hell, but I knew he would still pick me up; he would still share that brownie. My head and heart battled.
“Emma, what do you think?” he asked.
“Pull over,” I told him.
“Emma, I know that came out of the blue, and you are upset; I get that. At least let me drive you home. I’m sorry I sprung that on you. In the club, it felt like maybe you felt those same things, too. I misread the situation. I’m sorry.”
