He went as still as stone beneath me. “What?” I nodded against his chest. Mason let a slew of curses fly, the likes of which I’d never heard from his mouth before. And then he pulled me tighter against him. “I’m so sorry.”
“What am I going to tell Justin and Lyla?”
“The truth. We’ll find our own way to remember her. And it will mean more because there won’t be any ugly energy from your parents to contend with.”
God, I loved him for that. I stilled at the realization. It wasn’t simply a common phrase passing through my mind. I loved this man. For what he’d done for me and Justin and Lyla, for who he was. And that terrified me more than anything. Because what would happen when I lost him?
21
Mason
“She would’ve loved this spot,”Justin said, a hitch in his voice.
I wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I think it’s a good place to remember her.”
After a talk with Justin and Lyla about how they wanted to honor their mom, I’d made a call to my interior designer to see if she knew anyone who made custom benches. She’d, of course, come through. Two days later, we were standing at the edge of the lake on my property, where we’d placed the bench.
It was the perfect spot to take Justin and Lyla if they felt sad or wanted a connection point to their mom. A small plaque on the back of the bench read:Chelsea Foley, beloved mother and sister. Her light will shine on us always.
“Are you guys ready?” Anna asked as she held Lyla’s hand.
Lyla nodded, holding tight to the special paper Anna had purchased. It was biodegradable and contained seeds for all sorts of different flowers. Each of the kids had written a letter to Chelsea, and now we were going to bury them not far from the water’s edge, near the bench.
I let my arm slip from Justin’s shoulders and reached for my shovel. “Put them in there, and I’ll cover them up. Then we can water them.”
Lyla came forward first, kissing her paper and placing it in a hole to the left of the bench. She gently patted it down. “Okay.”
I heaped a pile of dirt on top and then looked at Justin, giving him an encouraging nod. He stepped forward to the hole to the right of the bench and crouched down. As he stared at his paper, his shoulders began to shake. I let the shovel fall and moved to him in a flash, pulling him into my arms and holding on tight.
His small body shook with the force of a much larger one. “I-I miss her so much.”
“I know.”
Anna moved in with Lyla, and we ended up in a huddle, surrounding Justin as he cried.
“It-it’ll never be the same. She won’t see me play soccer or make my favorite cookies. We used to make these forts and camp out in the living room. We’ll never get to do that again.”
Justin’s broken voice shredded whatever was left in my chest. I would’ve given anything to take away his pain. “It won’t be the same, you’re right. And you’re always going to miss her.” I locked eyes with Anna over his head. “But maybe you can share some of those things with us, and we can do them together.”
Lyla let out a little sniffle. “Mase and Anna are really good cooks. I bet they can get Mom’s chocolate chip cookie recipe and make them.”
Anna squeezed Justin’s shoulder. “I know there’s a box of cookbooks and recipes in the storage unit. We can go get it tomorrow.”
“O-okay,” Justin agreed. His voice was still shaky, but he straightened.
“You ready for this, or do you want to wait? There’s no rush,” I told him.
“I want to do it now.”
“Okay.”
He stared at the paper again, but this time when he crouched low, he didn’t break down. He pressed the letter into the hole and patted it down. “Love you, Mom.”
A tear of my own slipped free as I shoveled dirt into the hole. Anna appeared with the watering can we’d brought, and Lyla helped her wet the ground over each letter. I tossed the shovel into the back of the ATV we’d taken out here. “Do you guys want to stay out here for a bit or go back?”
Lyla gave me a sheepish smile. “I’m hungry.”
“I could eat,” Justin said.
