I tore off some paper towels from the roll on the counter and did my best to clean up my marred hand. “Is she still at the Kettle?”
“No. She left about an hour ago. Said she needed some time alone, to think. So, I’m on my way to pick up Noah from karate.”
My heart stopped. “She shouldn’t be wandering around alone right now. She knows that.”
“Relax, Tuck. She just went back to the ranch. She wanted to be with her horses.”
The vise that had settled around my chest relaxed just a bit. “Good.” I paused. “Taylor?”
“I’m still here.”
I let out a long breath. “Thank you.”
A car engine turned over. “You can thank me by fixing this.”
I grabbed my keys off the counter. “You got it.”
I tapped end on the screen. I’d have a battle on my hands, but I wouldn’t stop until Jensen had forgiven me. I just had to hold onto the flicker of hope I hadn’t fucked things up beyond repair.
42
Jensen
The drive upto the ranch was quiet. Too quiet. There was nothing to do but play the conversation with Tuck over and over in my head. Maybe I’d been wrong. So very wrong about him. Maybe I’d seen things that weren’t there because I so badly wanted them to exist.
I hated the way my mind played tricks on me. That insidious doubt crept over everything and infected it with its poison. It made me question every moment Tuck and I had shared. What was real? What was merely a figment of my imagination? Maybe I’d never know.
I turned off the main road and onto our gravel drive that would lead me to my horses, my peace. The divots in the lane jarred my spine. If only that were enough to shake the memories of Tuck from my mind loose. An invisible fist seemed to squeeze my heart. How did I forget someone who had been woven into my life from the day I was born?
It had to be impossible. My only hope was that the pain would dull with time. When Cody left me, I’d thought the pain would take me out, I had been so devastated. When I learned the truth about who Bryce really was, I’d felt so dirty, I’d thought I would never get clean again.
But I’d persevered. I’d healed my damn self. For my son. For me. And then Tuck had come along, ruining my perfect plan of never letting another man into my heart. Tucker Harris had taken me out like a freight train. But there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Getting a taste of what life could have been with him, how sweet that existence would be, only to have it ripped out from under me. There was no coming back from that. The pain of a dream you could just barely touch with your fingertips, torn viciously from your grasp.
The only hope I had was to go numb. To turn off that part of myself that yearned for more. The part that remembered what it had been like to think I might get it.
I pulled my SUV to a stop outside my pasture, just in time to see my herd galloping across the field, Willow leading the charge. The elderly mare had come so far. Had proven that she had so much life left to live. Yes. This was what I needed. I slipped from the car and headed for the fence line. Ducking between the rails, I headed for my boulder.
Memories flashed. All the times Tuck had found me here. The endless conversations. Some about nothing at all. Others about the most important things we held deep inside for no one else to see. How could all of that have been a lie? I pressed my palms against the rock below me. I didn’t believe it could be.
Phoenix nosed my shoulder. I turned, stroking her face. “Hey, Phee. You always know when I need a little extra love, huh?” She nuzzled in closer.
As I ran my hands down her neck, I watched the rest of the horses dance and play. Even Willow got in on the action, giving a little buck as she ran after a much younger mustang.
I sucked in a deep breath, letting the crisp pine air fill my lungs. I let my eyes close. I had so much. My son. My family. These beautiful horses. It would have to be enough. A flash of pain seared through my chest. Even my body didn’t believe that lie.
My eyes opened at the sound of tires on gravel. I watched an unfamiliar truck pull up to the pasture. A man got out, cowboy hat hiding his face. And it looked like another was still in the vehicle.
My heart rate picked up just a bit. The man took off his hat, and my muscles relaxed. “Hey, Bill, what’re you doing here?”
Bill ducked between the fence rails. “Afternoon, Miss Jensen. I was just coming by to check out a horse your dad trained. Might be adding her to my stable.”
My mouth curved. “The Paint?”
“That’s the one. She’s a beaut.” Bill looked out at the herd of horses in my pasture. “Why don’t you train these mustangs? I know you’ve got the touch. You could sell them, make a decent living.”
I gave him a kind smile. “I’ve trained a few, but not all of them are cut out for riding.”
