That brought a small smile to Noah’s face, and he got to work. I headed down the stairs. As I rounded the corner to the kitchen, I froze. Jensen sat on the floor, the contents of the two gift bags strewn around her. In one hand, she held the bottle of wine, and in the other, chocolate.
She looked up at the sound of my footsteps. “You got me the good stuff.”
I grinned. “Taylor might’ve helped.”
“Sorry I was such a raging bitch when you barged in.”
I lowered myself to the floor next to her. “You’re entitled to a few raging-bitch moments. We’ll call them a mom write-off.”
Jensen took a sip of the wine straight from the bottle, then pointed at some of the contents of the second bag, a mischievous smile stretching her mouth. “You got me girlie stuff. Bubble bath. Body oil. Face masks. I’m impressed, Harris.”
That familiar heat crept up my neck. “Taylor picked it out.”
She bumped her shoulder with mine. “Thank you. I needed this more than I can say.” She took another sip of wine and then handed the bottle to me.
I took a swig. It wasn’t bad. For wine. “You know, all you have to do is ask for help. I would’ve been happy to take Noah to the tournament next weekend. And I know the rest of your family would have, too.”
Jensen grabbed the bottle back so forcefully, wine splashed onto the floor. “I need to take care of Noah by myself.” The mask that she had mastered over the past year, the one that I fucking hated, slipped into place.
A muscle in my cheek ticked. “Why?”
She stared straight ahead, her eyes fixed on some point I couldn’t see. “I need to be able to do this on my own because that’s the life I’ve chosen for myself. I need to learn how to handle it.”
I forced my jaw to relax. “You’re not alone.”
Jensen turned to face me. “I am. And that’s the way it has to be. I’m not opening myself up to that ever again.”
I got it more than she would ever know. The choice to be alone. It was the last thing I wanted for her, but I got it. Still, I tried to talk her around. “You just need time. You’ll find the right person.”
Jensen took another pull of the wine. “I won’t. Not if I’m not looking.”
My back molars ground together. “Choosing to close yourself off from a shot at love isn’t the answer for you—”
Jensen’s gaze turned hot. “Oh, should I fuck half the state of Oregon instead?”
Her words cut deeper than they should’ve. I pushed on anyway. “But if youdochoose that, it doesn’t mean you have to live your life in isolation. You can still have help. Families, support systems, they don’t always have to look the same.”
I held her gaze, willing her to read between the lines. She knew. She understood better than anyone else the family I had created for myself when my own had been too fucked up for me to stand for long.
Jensen’s gaze softened, and then the tension seeped from her body as she leaned into me. My arm naturally curved around her. “I don’t know what the answer is. How to find the balance between being strong enough to stand on my own two feet and not shutting everyone out.” Her voice hitched. “I’m so tired of being a burden.”
I felt a tearing sensation in my chest. “You are not a burden.” I held her tighter against me. “Not. Fucking. Ever.”
“I feel like all I do is take. And I have nothing to give back.”
I rested my chin on the top of her head. The familiar scent of jasmine and hints of tea from her shift at the Kettle filled my senses. “The only time you don’t give back is when you hide yourself away from everyone who loves you. I’ve missed my friend.”
Jensen burrowed her face in my chest. “I’m sorry.” Her shoulders began to shake. “I just—I’ve put my family, so many people I love, through too much.”
I couldn’t take this anymore. We needed to have a come to Jesus talk, and I didn’t give one shit that she hadn’t wanted to talk about the elephant in the room for the past year. “Jensen. I need you to hear me. What happened with Bryce wasn’t your fault.”
She began crying harder. “It was.”
“How?”
Her words came out on hiccupped sobs. “I’m the one who gave him the gate code to the ranch. If I hadn’t, he’d wouldn’t have been able to take Taylor.” Was this what she’d been carrying around so much guilt over? A damn gate code?
Jensen lifted her head, and her eyes held a ravaged pain I’d never seen in them before, one that socked me right in the gut. “Did you know she has scars? Ones that will never go away. Taylor has to live with the reminder of what that monster did to her every single day. And I let that happen. BecauseItrusted him.”
