My eyes widened. “Why the hell would I be mad at you?”
She twisted the ring on her right hand, staring down at it as if it held all the answers. “Because of everything that happened.”
I took in Taylor’s face as she studied her hands. The uncertainty shifted to something that looked a whole lot like guilt. “Taylor,” I prodded gently. “Why would anything that happened make me mad atyou?”
Her eyes remained fixed on her ring. “I almost got you killed.”
My chest tightened at the reminder of that day. Not because I’d been hurt, I didn’t give a fuck about that. But because Taylor had been taken. Held for hours by a maniac and still bore scars from her time with him.
I swallowed against the rage in my throat and set my guitar down so it leaned against the railing. I grabbed Taylor’s hand, finally bringing her gaze to mine. “Taylor. None of that was your fault. If anything, I should be apologizing to you for not hearing him come in.”
She shook her head vigorously. “No. That’s ridiculous.”
I squeezed her hand. “Okay, then I think we can both agree that the only person to blame is dead and gone.”
Taylor swallowed hard, but she nodded. “If you’re not mad at me, then why the hell have you been making up excuses not to see me? What’s going on?”
I was officially an ass. I had made one of my best friends in the world worry just because I wanted to avoid questions about why I’d left LA.
Taylor studied my face.
I dropped her hand and leaned back in my rocker, staring out at the horizon. “I’ve got a bad case of writer’s block. The studio is on my case about finishing my next record, and I think I have all of two songs done. I just needed to get away. I was hoping the beautiful sights of middle-of-nowhere Oregon would give me a little inspiration.”
“I’m sorry, Li. Has being up here helped at all?”
I shot a glare at the guitar leaning against the rail. “Not so much with the music, but at least I don’t feel like I’m going crazy cooped up in the city anymore.”
“I thought you loved your place in LA.”
I tipped the rocker back and forth, not meeting Taylor’s gaze. “I do. Or I did.” I blew out a breath. “I don’t know. I just hit this point where I was so sick of the scene there.”
I could feel Taylor’s eyes boring into me, evaluating my words. She let out a soft, humming sound. “Why do I get the feeling that’s not the whole story?”
This was the problem with good friends. They knew when you were bullshitting them.
I toyed with the guitar pick still in my hand. “Something happened in LA.”
“Okay…” She drew out the word as if it would encourage me to keep talking.
“There was this fan…” I wanted to continue, but a mixture of guilt and frustration seemed to hold my tongue captive.
“Li, you know you can tell me anything, right?”
I nodded but still said nothing.
“This is a judgement-free zone. You’re talking to the girl who drunkenly spilled her guts to you over shots of vodka because I couldn’t handle falling in love with Walker.”
A small smile pulled at my mouth at the reminder of Taylor bursting into tears at the thought of falling in love. It had all worked out in the end. I wasn’t so sure my story would have such a happy ending.
Gripping the arms of the chair, I forced myself to start speaking. “I meet fans pretty much every day. Meet and greets before concerts, while I’m eating at a restaurant… Hell, I’ve had people run up to my car when I’m stopped at a traffic light.”
Taylor stayed silent, letting me spill at whatever pace I needed to. “It’s impossible for me to remember them all. To sign every slip of paper. Respond to every letter.”
My throat began to burn. “There was a young woman. I’d apparently met her at a meet and greet, but I honestly don’t remember her. I guess she got a little fixated on me, obsessed kinda. She wrote me a bunch of letters at the label. They sent her an autographed photo, but obviously couldn’t respond to every note she sent.”
I inhaled deeply, trying to focus on the smell of the pines instead of the roiling in my stomach. “She started leaving crazy comments on my social media and blog, but I swear I didn’t see them.”
I met Taylor’s eyes, pleading for her to understand that I was telling the truth. “I found out later, she said if she didn’t hear back from me, she was going to kill herself.”
