My heart thundered in my chest. When was the last time someone had touched me this tenderly? I honestly couldn’t remember. My breathing hitched.
A loud thump had us jumping apart. Noah’s voice sounded from outside. “Oops. Can one of you help me with my saddle?”
Liam shoved his hands into his pockets. “Can’t leave the little man alone to deal with his tack.”
I shook my head, unable to speak as my heart still rattled in my ribcage.
Liam motioned towards the stalls. “I’ll just go help him with that.”
I nodded, clearing my throat, hoping that would somehow help my current mute status. “Yeah.” It came out on a croak, but at least I’d spoken the word.
I needed some air. I made sure Lightning had water and then headed outside. The sun, low in the sky, gave the fields a beautiful, golden glow. I closed my eyes and angled my face towards the sun beams, breathing deeply. How could a simple touch undo me? Liam Fairchild must have magic in those fingertips.
The wind shifted, and my eyes popped open. There was an itchy sensation between my shoulder blades. I spun around, expecting to find Liam, but there was no one.
Unease swept over me as my eyes traveled around the Cole family ranch. Two men were filling a truck with hay. Sarah and Jensen sat on the front porch of the ranch house. Another ranch hand led a horse out to pasture. Irma motioned for Noah to follow her inside.
No one was looking in my direction, but I could feel eyes on me, boring into me. Goosebumps peppered my skin as my head whipped around, trying to find the source of the discomfort. A hand brushed my arm, and I jumped.
“Hey, hey. What’s wrong?” Liam’s concerned expression filled my line of sight.
What if someonewaswatching right now? Garrett? Or one of his minions? A paparazzi angling for a shot of Liam? Hell, even a ranch hand with a camera who wanted to make a few extra bucks by selling a photograph to some gossip magazine.
My breaths came in quick pants. How could I have been so stupid? Taken such an unnecessary risk? I shook off Liam’s hand. “I have to go.”
His brows pulled together. “Okay, I’ll take you home. Just give me a minute to get the horses settled.”
I shook my head. “I have to go now. I’ll get Jensen to take me home.” I took off towards the barn to grab my bag. “I’m sorry,” I called over my shoulder. A completely baffled look filled Liam’s expression, along with a touch of hurt. My chest burned, and I forced myself to look away.
I snagged my bag and headed for the front porch. Jensen and Sarah were coming down the front steps when I reached them. “I’m sorry to be a bother, but could one of you drive me home?”
They shared a worried glance, but it was Sarah who spoke. “Of course, honey. Let me just grab my keys.”
“Thank you.” She headed back up the steps, pulling the door open and unhooking a keychain from the key rack in the entryway.
“Is everything okay?” Jensen asked, voice soft.
I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself. “I’m fine. I just need to get back.” I’m sure the Cole family thought I was a lunatic by now. Today would just add to their pile of evidence.
Sarah inclined her head towards an SUV on the side of the house. “Come on.”
I followed her to the vehicle in a daze, getting in and fastening my seatbelt on autopilot. We were silent on the drive. I stared out the window, letting my mind go unfocused, trying not to think about anything. Before I knew it, Sarah had pulled up at the back of the Kettle.
I reached for the door handle. “Thank you.” I couldn’t even look at Sarah.
“Anytime, honey. Whatever you need, just ask. I’m always here.”
Her kind words broke me. Tears streamed down my face as I slipped from the car without another word. My keys shook as I tried to unlock the door. It took three attempts before I got them into the lock.
I hurried to flip the latch behind me when I got inside. Running up the stairs, I unlocked my apartment door, my hand even shakier now as sobs wracked my body. I slammed the door closed behind me, flipping the deadbolt and hooking the chain.
Then I let myself dissolve, crumpling to the floor. The carpet at the end of my bed softened my landing, but it still jarred my spine when my knees hit the floor. I pulled the thick duvet from the bed. I needed its comfort, its protection from reality.
My cheeks grew hotter, and my sobs heavier as I thought about how crazy I’d just acted, my paranoia of being discovered wreaking havoc with my logical brain. No one in Sutter Lake had sold Liam out to the media, and he’d been here for months. Garrett hadn’t found me, and I’d been here for two years.
I squeezed my eyes closed against the wave of embarrassment that encroached. None of it mattered now. No one would put up with this level of crazy. I wanted so badly to be normal, to go on a ride, or hell, even a date without panic destroying every tendril of enjoyment.
But I was damaged goods. I’d probably never be free of the hold my paranoia had on me. Normal would never be within my reach.
