I stuck the money into my purse and pulled out the array of ticket options Gena had purchased for me. I flipped through them. All big cities. New York. New Orleans. Minneapolis. My fingers stilled on a bus ticket to Portland, Oregon. It had to be a sign. I hoped against hope that it was. Maybe my mother was looking after me and guiding my steps from above.
Even if she weren’t, and this was just some random coincidence, it didn’t matter. I was on my way, and now I had a destination. Come hell or high water, I was getting my life back.
1
Tessa
TWO YEARS LATER
Sunlight warmed my face as I stretched, freeing my arms from the confines of the covers. I kept sleeping better and better. It had taken me months to get used to the unfamiliar noises of the country. Every cricket chirping or creak of my older apartment had me reaching for my bag to run. But I’d slowly become accustomed to the rhythms of Sutter Lake, Oregon. The sounds became comforting, the faces familiar. I’d relaxed.
I was still cautious. Careful. Always on alert to a degree. But I was no longer in a constant state of panic that Garrett would be around the next corner. I pushed to a seated position.Time to start the day.My routine was always the same.
Setting coffee to brew as I brushed my teeth and got dressed. Check the wooden boards I’d placed in the windows to prevent them from being opened from the outside. Move the cans filled with coins from in front of my apartment door to beside it. Double-check that my go-bag had all the essentials to make a run for it if needed. That bag was never more than five feet from me at any time. My security measures were low-tech, but they gave me that little extra reassurance that I would be fine no matter what.
I pulled my hair back into a braid. I’d let it grow out from the short bob Gena had given me but kept the darker brown color just in case. My heart panged at the memory of my friend. We’d had no contact, just as promised, but I longed for the intimacy of a friendship where you knew everything about each other.
I simply couldn’t afford that now. My chest tightened. Gena had already lost so much because she’d helped me. I wouldn’t put someone else through that just because I was lonely.
Moving the cans to the side of the entryway, I grabbed my bag and pulled open the door. Stepping into the hall, I listened for any unfamiliar sounds. All I heard was the hum of the walk-in fridge in the tea shop below and the rustling of the wind through the leaves outside. Pulling the door closed slowly, I carefully slipped a small piece of paper into the jamb next to the hinges. When I got home, if the paper was on the floor, it meant that someone had been in my apartment, and it was time to run again.
I closed my eyes against the painful idea. I loved Sutter Lake. The people were kind. The scenery was beautiful. It was home. And I would do anything I could to stay here.
I hurried down the steps and out the back door, being careful to double-check locks on my way out. The sun reflected off the beater of a car I’d bought off Craigslist for $1000 and never registered in my name. I’d had to steal registration stickers off vehicles that didn’t seem to be in use. I’d left silent apologies in my wake, and cash for the fee in the people’s mailboxes.
There had been no way around it. I needed a car, especially in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. It was one more weapon for my arsenal in the battle to keep my freedom. It was also how I got to the first of my two jobs. The job Iloved.
My car bumped over the dirt road as I pulled through the gate of Cole Ranch. My boss, Jensen Cole, and her entire extended family lived on the massive property. But she had her own corner of land for a very special project. Something I helped out with in exchange for my studio apartment above Jensen’s tea shop.
As I crested the hill, I caught a glimpse of the herd below. The sight of them still took my breath away. Almost twenty mustangs. A group of mares with an assortment of different markings. The first time Jensen had brought me here, something about these beautiful creatures had called out to my soul.
They had been born in the wild, on state land about an hour and a half from here. But for one reason or another, they had been removed from their family bands. I felt their pain of being thrust out of their homes and their relief at finding a new safe place to rest.
I pulled my car to a stop in front of a small barn that housed feed and other supplies for the horses. Pushing open my door, I inhaled deeply, the now-familiar smells of horses, hay, and the pine trees in the distance filling my lungs. It was the scent of comfort. Peace.
A whinny sounded from the fence line. I grinned. “Hey there, Phoenix,” I called, making my way towards the gorgeous mare. Her dark bay coat glistened in the sun as she threw her head back with a snort as if to say, “Hurry up, would you?”
I picked up my pace. Reaching the pasture, I extended a hand to scratch between Phoenix’s ears, but that wasn’t good enough for the mare. This morning, she wanted a cuddle. I let out a soft laugh as she lifted her head so that it rested on my shoulder, her breath tickling the back of my neck.
“Good morning to you, too.” I ran my hands down her smooth neck until I reached her chest. My fingertips gently caressed a raised scar on her left shoulder. My blood still boiled that she had been hurt. Most likely taken down by a careless hunter who hadn’t waited long enough to see that he was shooting at a horse instead of the game he was after. She was lucky to be alive.
A Forest Service law enforcement officer had stumbled across Phoenix and saved her life. But it had taken months for her to let anyone close, and I was honored that she had chosen that person to be me. Maybe she sensed a kindred spirit in me, knew that I, too, wore battle scars. The why didn’t matter, all that mattered was that she had given me a truly precious gift: trust and love.
I gave the mare’s cheek a kiss and released my hold. Phoenix let out a whinny of protest. “I gotta get you breakfast, sweet girl.”
I made quick work of spreading out hay for the horses to munch on and checking water supplies. Once that was done, I settled on a large rock at the edge of the pasture. I dug into my bag for one of the few luxuries I allowed myself. My hand found the sketchpad and the tin of pencils.
Flipping open the notebook, I surveyed the view in front of me. The horses happily munching away on a hillside that rolled up and down in beautiful waves before it met a forest of towering pines. There was so much beauty. A bird dipped and rolled in the air. So much life.
I touched my pencil to the thick, white paper. I heard the same voice I always did when I started.“It’s a cute hobby, Val, but you’re not talented enough for art school.”I pushed the voice from my mind. It didn’t matter whether I had skill or not, I loved drawing. Slowly, I lost myself in the rhythm of the graphite scratching against the page, the creation of an entire world.
A tug on my jeans’ leg brought me out of my trance. “Phee,” I chided, using the mare’s nickname as she tried to decide whether she liked the taste of denim. I dropped my sketchpad back into my bag and leaned forward to scratch her between the ears. “Was I not paying enough attention to you?” Phoenix let out a huff, and I couldn’t hold in my laugh.
“Okay, we’ll get in your scratches before I have to leave.” I took a quick look at my watch. I’d need to hurry to make it back in time to shower before my shift at The Tea Kettle. But I couldn’t force myself to leave quite yet.
* * *
Balancinga tray of scones that smelled heavenly, I made my way from the kitchen to the main room of the tea shop.
