Cope’s gaze snapped to me and then to his brother. He’d missed the signs, too caught up in his annoyance and used to his siblings making surprise visits to realize something was wrong. “Trace?”
His brother’s throat worked as he swallowed. “Teddy was in an accident on his way back to Seattle.”
It was as if Cope had been struck by lightning; his entire form snapped straight. “Where is he? What hospital?”
Pain streaked across Trace’s features. “I’m sorry, Cope. He didn’t make it. He’s gone.”
18
COPE
“I’m sorry,Cope. He didn’t make it. He’s gone.”
Trace’s words echoed on repeat in my head as I stared out the window. The view that normally brought me such peace gave me nothing now. All that existed was an endless slideshow that flipped me back and forth between pain and numbness.
I knew I should be doing something, anything, but I couldn’t get myself there. My house had been an endless revolving door of family members, but that only made it worse. Because it wasn’t just losing Teddy that hurt. It was the memory of losing Dad and Jacob all those years ago.
Trace hadn’t realized how eerily similar his words were to Mom’s from back then. How I’d come to in the hospital, and she’d been right there, her face so pale that I thought she was a ghost for a second.
“Dad?” I croaked, my throat so dry I thought it might crack.
Pain shattered my mom’s expression, her face crumbling. “I’m so sorry, Cope. Your dad and Jacob…they didn’t make it. They’re gone.”
The agony of that knowledge had sent me spiraling. The stitches in my lip, broken ribs, and concussion were nothing compared to thepain of knowing that I had caused their deaths. It was all on me in every way imaginable.
And now, there was another black mark on my soul. Another life cut short that I’d have to atone for. No price would be great enough.
Fingers curled around mine. “Cope?”
I jolted, some part of me recognizing it wasn’t the first time Sutton had said my name. I blinked a few times, clearing my vision and bringing her into focus. “Sorry, what?”
“Can I bring you some soup and a sandwich?” she asked, hope bleeding into her question. “I didn’t make the soup. Promise. Your mom brought it.”
I knew she was trying to make me smile, and I wanted to give her that. Sutton had been taking care of me for the past forty-eight hours, making sure I ate and trying to get me to sleep. But I couldn’t get my mouth to curve the way I knew it should. “I’m good right now.”
“Cope,” she said softly. “You haven’t eaten anything today.”
My stomach did feel hollow, but that wasn’t any different than the rest of me. “I can’t. I just—I don’t think my gut can take it.”
Sutton’s fingers convulsed around mine, tightening in a grip that told me she wasn’t letting go anytime soon. “What can I do? What do you need?”
“You’re doing it,” I rasped. “This. It’s good.”
I didn’t deserve the kindness or comfort, but I took it anyway. I was a greedy bastard like that. But still, some part of me needed Sutton to know who I really was. “This would never have happened if he hadn’t been worried about me.”
Because that was Teddy. The best friend, through and through. Always looking out for his teammates, friends, and family. And now, because he’d come to check on me, they’d lose out on that gift for the rest of their days.
Sutton gripped my hand harder, shaking it. “Don’t you dare.”
My eyes flared as the shock of her words settled in.
“Don’t youdareput this on yourself. It’s no one’s fault. It’s a horrible tragedy, but no one thing or person is responsible.”
But she was wrong. It was Teddy’s fault for driving too fastaround the curve on a mountain road. It was the sky’s fault for starting to rain just enough the oils on the road made the pavement as slick as ice. But most of all, it was my fault for giving Teddy a reason to be here. Just like I’d given my family one to be in that SUV that night.
“He wouldn’t have been here if it wasn’t for me.” My words were barely audible and like a cannon all at once.
Sutton moved then, sinking to the floor, her knees digging into the plush rug beneath the sofa. She pushed herself between my legs, her hands rising to frame my face. “Cope. He was here because he loved you. Because you meant something to him. And from everything I’ve heard these past few days, you weren’t alone in that. He showed up for the people he loved.That’sTeddy’s legacy. It’s the most beautiful kind you can have. Don’t steal that from him.”
