My chest ached, and with that pain came a heaviness. “His illness makes it so he doesn’t want to go to the doctor. At least, not yet. Maybe he will one day, but right now, he can’t make himself.”
“Because he doesn’t love us enough,” Luca whispered, tears beginning to fall. “It’s why he never calls or sends me a birthday card.”
“Oh, baby.” I pulled him against me, wrapping my arms around him. “He will always love you, even when he can’t show it.”
“Not enough!” Luca wailed. “I don’t want him to be my dad! I want Cope to be my dad!”
I stilled, pain and panic searing through me. My gaze collided with Cope’s, and I saw agony and longing in his eyes. Cope leaned in, rubbing Luca’s back.
“It would be the biggest honor of my life if I got to be a dad to someone who’s as amazing as you are,” Cope croaked.
Luca twisted in my arms, turning to face Cope. “I want you to be. I don’t want a bad-guy dad.”
Cope squeezed Luca’s knee. “Family is so much more than blood.”
Luca’s face scrunched again, as though he didn’t believe Cope. “What do you mean?”
“Look at my family. Only me, Fallon, Mom, and Lolli are related by blood.”
Luca’s brows rose. “Really?”
Cope nodded. “Shep was adopted as a baby. Arden and Trace came to live with us when they were twelve. Rhodes, when she was thirteen. Kye, not until he was sixteen.”
“But you guys are so close. Like a real family,” Luca whispered.
I squeezed Luca in a hug. “Because they are a real family.”
“Family isn’t defined by blood,” Cope said. “It’s defined by how we care about one another. How we show up in good times and bad. How we love one another.”
A fresh wave of tears spilled down Luca’s cheeks. “I want that.”
God, I’d never felt like more of a failure. I hadn’t given Luca that. Hadn’t given him what he needed.
“Speedy, you have it,” Cope whispered. “You belong with us now. You’re part of the Colson crew whether you like it or not.”
Luca’s lower lip trembled. “I don’t have your same last name.”
“Neither does Arden, Rhodes, or Kye. It doesn’t make them any less a part of our family.”
“Really?” Luca asked.
“Really,” Cope echoed. “You’re with us. A part of our family. And you always will be.”
Luca threw himself at Cope, and Cope caught him easily. Luca cried in earnest now. They were tears of relief and of letting go. “I love you,” Luca hiccupped.
“I love you, too,” Cope whispered. “More than you’ll ever know.”
Every piece of myself that I’d been holding back lost itself to Cope in that moment. Every wall I’d been desperately clinging to crumbled. And I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, I was in love with Cope. And that would never change.
44
COPE
Slowly,Luca’s sobs lessened, and his breathing evened out. His complete weight slackened against me. So small and vulnerable. It killed me that he felt like he didn’t belong, and I would’ve given anything to change that.
“He’s asleep,” Sutton whispered.
I knew that already, but I still couldn’t find it in me to speak. A million questions swam through my mind. Ones that asked if I’d handled this right, if I’d overstepped, if Luca would be okay.
