Trace pinned me with that all-too-knowing stare. “You had a panic attack.”
I blew out a breath. Who knew that Anson, a man who could barely string two sentences together, had such a big mouth? But I knew it wasn’t actually him. He’d told Shep, and Shep would share it with anyone he thoughtneededto be in the loop.
“As you can see, I’m just fine. It was a surprise, that’s all. But I have to get used to seeing photos and mementos. It won’t be long before I can get into the house to go through things.”
Concern swept over Trace’s face. “You don’t have to do this, Rho.”
I met his gaze, forcing myself not to look away. “I know that. But I want to. I miss them.”
Being brought into the Colsons’ fold had been a beautiful thing. Some foster kids didn’t like the idea of being a part of a new family, but I’d welcomed being surrounded by their care and love. While I didn’t call NoraMom,she knew she would always be that to me in all the ways that mattered. I’d slipped easily into thinking of Cope, Shep, Trace, and Arden as siblings. Even Kye, who’d come to live with us later. And I’d always thought of Fallon as a sister.
But that didn’t mean I missed my family any less. Their absence was an ache I felt each and every day. We’d shared things that I’d never have with anyone else.
Sympathy swept across Trace’s face. “Of course, you do. But they wouldn’t want you to put yourself through something that could affect your mental health.”
I gripped the edge of the counter, letting it press into my palms. “I want to remember them.” I’d boxed them away for so long because I couldn’t deal with the reality of them being gone. I was ready now. I didn’t want to pretend like they never existed anymore.
I felt more than a small amount of guilt about that. But I knew none of them would want that. They’d want me to go at my own pace.When I felt overwhelmed growing up, my dad would bend down to meet my eyes and say,“You can only do what you can do.”
Trace sighed. “Okay. But I don’t want you doing it alone. And I don’t want people leaving damn photos on your porch. It’s like a sneak attack. Shep’s having a word with the crew.”
I groaned. “He doesn’t need to have aword. I’m a grown-up. I can deal.”
“Maybe so, but you’ve also got family who cares about you. You’re not alone in this.”
Knowing that was the most beautiful pain. Knowing that I’d been given this amazing ragtag group of humans because I’d lost my family. I took in a lungful of air, letting the scents of flowers in the greenhouse fill my senses. It grounded me and reminded me to be grateful for the here and now.
“Thanks, T,” I said softly.
“Anytime.” He pinned me with another of those Trace stares. “You tell me if any more shit gets dropped on your doorstep.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled.
“I’m serious, Rho. I don’t like someone nosing around.”
A shiver raced across my skin at the thought, but I shoved the sensation away. “It’s just someone on the crew trying to be helpful.”
Trace grunted. “Either way, I want to know.”
“Okay,” I promised. “I’ll tell you.”
“Thank you.” Trace tapped the counter twice. “I’ll check on you later. Keep that dog close.”
I rolled my eyes but waved to him. Bending down, I scratched Biscuit between the ears. “He’s kind of overbearing, huh?”
Footsteps sounded, and I looked up to see Duncan approaching.
“Saw Trace stop by in uniform. Everything okay?” he asked, little lines appearing between his brows.
“Totally fine. Just checking in big-brother-style.”
Duncan didn’t seem convinced. “He doesn’t usually do that when he’s on duty. Are you sure everything’s okay?”
I fought the urge to scream. “They’re all just being a little extraattentive now that I’m back at the Victorian.” I couldn’t bring myself to sayhome. Not yet.
“Rho.” Duncan’s entire face morphed into sympathy. He reached across the counter and took my hand in his. The action was so startling I had to fight the urge to jerk back. Duncan and I were friendly but not touchy-feely. We hugged once in a blue moon, but that was it. He squeezed my hand. “Maybe it’s too much. Maybe you should stay in the cottage in town.”
I tugged my hand out of his grasp, shoving it beneath the counter. “There’s already another tenant there.”
