I surveyed everything I would pass along the way and envisioned the streets I’d seen when I drove in yesterday with their quaint shops and picturesque restaurants.
New was never easy for me. It was even worse if someone tried to push me into it. Precisely why I’d left my parents’ home and went to live with Emerson and Adrian. I needed to go at my own pace, and I’d found that if I practiced something in my mind before I did it, it wasn’t quite as scary.
I ran my gaze over the route twice more. “Tomorrow, you just take the next step.”
I surveyed what I’d need in the morning: the leather boots, my puffy jacket, and the hat from the chair in the corner. My focus shifted to the pepper spray on my nightstand. It wasn’t as if I thought someone would attack me on a Saturday morning in the downtown area of a small community.
I wanted to believe that thought. But I knew that bad things could happen when you least expected them.
3
LAWSON
I shovedthe pads and some of Drew’s workout clothes into the machine. The smell that wafted from it had me fighting a gag. I knew I shouldn’t try to fit everything into one load, but I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t have time to wait for two.
The three nanny candidates I planned to interview today wouldn’t take more than an hour and a half—two, tops. Then I had to get to the station to catch up on a mountain of paperwork. Pouring detergent on top of the rank gear, I slammed the lid closed and hit start.
“What’d that washer ever do to you?”
I spun at the sound of Grae’s voice.
“Charlie—”
“Is brushing his teeth, and his outfit is already laid out. It won’t be the end of the world if they’re five minutes late to school.”
Except they’d been late more often than on time this year, and I knew the teachers and schools noticed.
Worry lined Grae’s face. “Are you okay?”
An invisible fist ground into my gut. “I’m fine. Just a lot going on right now.”
“Then let me help. You know Caden and I will take the boys if you need a break. My schedule is flexible now that I’m working at The Peaks. I can play chauffeur anytime you need.”
Guilt pricked at my skin. My sister didn’t need to be helping me. She was newly engaged and pregnant, working a new job with her fiancé at his family’s resort. She should be enjoying that, not taking onmyresponsibilities.
“I’m fine. Really. And once I get a nanny in place, that’ll help.”
Grae sent me a skeptical look. “That means actually hiring someone.”
I scowled at her. “This person will be taking care of my kids. It needs to be the right fit.”
She leaned against the doorjamb. “And the last ten candidates were all atrocious?”
“One of them had a record,” I growled. That was when I’d changed my strategy from simply placing an ad in the paper to using an agency. At least now, I wouldn’t end up with someone convicted of possession with intent to distribute in my living room.
Grae winced. “Okay, that’s fair. But every single one was awful?”
“There was no one I’d trust with my kids.” Because those three terrors were my whole world. I’d almost lost them once and would never let them be at risk again.
Grae moved closer to me. “Then let us help. We’re your family. That’s what we do.”
Except, all my younger brothers and Grae were moving on with their lives. Holt would welcome a baby any day with his fiancée, Wren. Grae was newly engaged and expecting, also. Nash was planning a wedding with Maddie. And Roan was marrying Aspen tomorrow. They didn’t need my responsibilities weighing them down.
“The candidates today should be better. They’re the ones from the agency,” I assured her.
Grae’s lips pursed. “Okay.”
I pulled her in for a quick hug. “Thanks for taking the kids to school.”
