I was confused by the question until I saw the pot on the stove. As I walked closer, I took in the bubbling red sauce. It smelled amazing.
A pang of longing hit my chest. Adrian was an amazing cook and had been teaching me the basics back in Chicago. No one made Bolognese like him, but this smelled close.
I glanced down at Charlie and his sky-blue T-shirt. “I’m thinking we should find you an apron first.”
Drew chuckled as he set my water on the island. “Smart move. The munchkin can get dirty doing just about anything.”
Charlie scowled at his brother. “I’m not a munchkin.”
I pivoted quickly, knowing how fast sibling rivalry could escalate. “I’m completely hopeless at staying clean in the kitchen, so I’m gonna need one, too. One time, I tipped an entire saucepan on myself. The tomatoes made my hair pink for a week.”
Drew’s lips twitched, and a giggle escaped from Charlie.
“Pink hair?” Charlie asked, disbelieving.
I shrugged. “Some people thought it was a fashion statement.”
Drew bent and opened a drawer in the island. He handed Charlie an apron and then one to me. “Wouldn’t want any more fashion statements.”
I grinned and took the garment. As I slid it over my head, raised voices sounded down the hall. Each one struggled to top the other.
“She’s a joke!” Luke yelled.
I winced.
Apparently, my fresh start wouldn’t be as smooth sailing as I’d hoped.
7
LAWSON
I stared at my son,sensing the anger coming off him in waves. “I know you’re not crazy about the idea of a nanny, but—”
“We don’t need one,” Luke snapped, his dark hair flying across his brow.
I took a deep breath, making an effort to lower my voice. “Maybe you don’t, butIdo. You guys have a lot going on, and I’m working long hours. I need someone to give us a hand.”
Luke’s jaw worked back and forth. “If you’re too busy to take care of your kids, maybe you should let us go live with Mom.”
My spine snapped straight as blood roared in my ears. The idea of them in Melody’s care had ice running through my veins. I struggled to keep my voice even. “You know that’s not an option.”
“No, I don’t. You won’t even tell us why we can’t see her.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. Hard. First, their mother would have towantto see them. But even if she did, the courts wouldn’t allow it, not after what had happened.
I should’ve guessed they’d start to have questions. Ones I couldn’t answer with half-truths and non-responses. Maybe this had been wreaking more havoc on Luke than I realized. Or maybe he just knew how to hit me where it hurt.
“Your mom isn’t in a place to take care of you.”
The truth was, I didn’t know where the hell Melody was these days. And I didn’t want to know. The only way I could deal with everything that had happened was to shove it down. Force it so far down that it didn’t exist for me.
Luke’s jaw clenched. “It’s not like you are either. You’re pawning us off on some stranger.”
I lowered myself to Luke’s desk chair, staring at my son. “You and your brothers are the most important people in the world to me.”
He scoffed.
“It kills me that you don’t feel that from me, but it’s true. Bringing someone on is to help me be the best possible dad. So the time we get together is quality time and not me stressing over schedules and laundry and grocery shopping.”
