I sawhimmore than everyone else. Because I’d made a study of Caden Shaw since before I understood why. “You’ve had my back these past few weeks when I really needed someone. Let me have yours.”
Caden’s gaze lifted to mine, and I saw so much pain there that it nearly stole my breath. “I’m fucked in the head, Gigi.”
My heart jerked. “You are not.”
He chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “I am. Between my family and losing Clara, I don’t handle things the way a normal person would. I don’t do relationships for a reason. I don’t let people past a certain boundary because I know it would destroy me if I lost them.”
My heart thudded against my ribs. “Because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared. I’m fucking petrified. I can’t even let Nash in.”
Pain flared in my chest as I looked at Caden. He’d been alone for so long. It was his doing, but at the same time, it wasn’t his fault. I couldn’t imagine how lonely he must’ve been. “You can change it. Choose a different path.”
Caden shook his head, his focus dropping to his plate. “It’s not that simple.”
“I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but I’m saying you have a choice. Choose to take just one step down a different path.”
I knew what I was asking for without even saying the words. I was asking him to give me back some of what I had lost. But also more. Because I felt that pull between Caden and me. I knew now that it wasn’t just in my head—it was too raw and real for it to be on me alone.
Caden’s eyes lifted again. “Gigi…”
The doorbell rang.
I mentally cursed as Caden jerked straight.
“I’ll get it.” He strode out of the kitchen like the hounds of hell were on his heels.
What had I been thinking? Caden could have fixed things between us a million and one times, but he never had. I had to stop chasing after the glimmer of something he wasn’t willing to fight for. Maybe this fake relationship would bring our friendship back, but it would never be more than that.
Caden reappeared in the kitchen with Lawson. I straightened. “Hey, Law.”
He crossed to me and wrapped me in a hug. “You doing okay?”
I nodded. “I’m fine.”
“I thought you were taking the kids out on the lake today,” Nash said as he strode farther into the kitchen.
“Pushed it to tomorrow. I got a call from Ramirez this morning.”
My stomach tightened. “Do they know what caused the fire?”
Lawson leaned a hip against the island. “It’s all very preliminary. It will take a couple of weeks for the official findings.”
“But he suspects something.” Caden’s voice had gone cold, emotionless.
Lawson nodded. “They traced the path of the fire, and it looks as if an accelerant was used.”
Nash cursed, but Caden went unnaturally still.
“Someone tried to burn down my house.” I couldn’t disguise the tremor in my voice. I hated that little glimpse of weakness, but there was nothing I could do about it.
Strong arms came around me, cocooning me. Caden’s body was so much larger than mine. It felt as if he could shield me from just about anything. And the heat coming off him in waves soothed something inside me.
“It looks that way,” Lawson said. “Is there anyone who might be angry with you other than Rance or Gabe?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I mean, I’m sure I’ve pissed people off, but this is way too extreme for cutting someone off in traffic or getting the last muffin at The Brew.”
Lawson nodded. “Holt has his team looking into things, but he wants you to consider a security detail.”
