My family thought it was crazy and reckless that I wanted to lead outdoor treks after my Type 1 diabetes diagnosis. But that only made me want to do it more. The way I had to fight for it only made the reward sweeter.
But it was more than that. Being out on the mountain reminded me of my fondest memories. The ones before my life changed. The things before Caden had put a wall between us that I hadn’t been able to scale.
The door to the office opened, and I dropped my hand from Eddie’s mouth. I winced as a familiar figure stepped inside, holding a massive bouquet. I stared at the array of roses and lilies and knew I should have butterflies. Instead, I felt dread.
Jordan cleared his throat. “Hey, Rance.”
Rance nodded. “J.” He crossed to me, extending the flowers. “Saw your SUV pull in from the station. Wanted to bring these over.”
The fire station was next to the police station and within eyeshot of our little cottage. It wasn’t the first time I’d cursed the nearness with Lawson and Nash being able to keep an eye on me from the Cedar Ridge Police Department. I gave him a weak smile. “This really wasn’t necessary.”
I never should’ve said yes to the handful of dates with Rance. I’d never felt a spark. But we were casual friends, and he was a good guy, so I’d thought maybe the chemistry would grow. I’d been so wrong. I was always wrong. I’d never felt the buzz of awareness I experienced around Caden with anyone else. But the chemistry with Rance had been especially bad. Like kissing a dead fish bad.
He shrugged, giving me a lopsided smile. “I wanted to see if you could go to dinner tomorrow.”
My stomach churned. Why was he doing this in front of the people I worked with? I cast a quick look around the room. Noel was glaring daggers at him. Eddie looked like he wanted some popcorn while he took in every moment of the drama. And Jordan looked…worried.
I pushed to my feet, leaving the flowers on my desk. “Why don’t we go outside?” I started moving before Rance had a chance to argue.
I rounded the front of the building, and he came to a stop just a little too close. I took a step back. “I told you before; I think we’re better as friends.”
Rance sent me a sheepish smile. “I know, but you can’t get what you don’t fight for. And I think we could be good together, Grae. Just give me a shot.”
My thumbnail pressed into the pad of my forefinger. “I did, and I just didn’t feel that spark.”
A hint of frustration flashed in his expression. “Three dates isn’t a shot; it’s barely getting to know each other.”
I fought the urge to scream. “It’s enough for me to know. I’m sorry, Rance. I just don’t feel the same.”
I hurried back inside before he could argue more.
The screen door slapped behind me, and all three of my coworkers immediately looked as if they were extremely busy. They were horrible actors. Their nosy butts had probably been spying the whole time. I let out a growl of frustration as I headed back to my desk.
Eddie pressed his lips together to keep from laughing, but it only held for so long. His shoulders began to shake, his auburn hair ruffling with the action.
I sent a glare in his direction. “It’s not funny.”
Eddie leaned back in his chair, locking his hands behind his head. “It’s a little funny. He’s like a lost puppy just begging for a home.”
Noel kicked at his chair. “That shit isn’t cool. Grae said no. He needs to leave her be.”
The amusement fled Eddie’s face, and he glanced in my direction. “He freaking you out?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose to stave off the impending headache. The last thing I needed was to add three surrogate big brothers to the four I already had. “No, it’s just awkward. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I just don’t feel that way about him. I tried, but the chemistry isn’t there.”
It wasn’t there with anyone I wanted to find it with. It only flared to life with the last person on the planet it should have.
Jordan leaned against the wall, studying me carefully. “If he’s making you uncomfortable, I’ll kick him out the next time he stops by.”
“Damn straight,” Eddie agreed, casting a look across the street as Rance disappeared into the station. “He’s a chump anyway. Those teeth are so white they probably glow in the dark.”
Noel snorted at that. “The amount of gel in his hair could probably shellac my boat.”
“You guys are mean. He’s handsome, and he’s kind,” I argued.
Eddie’s lips twitched. “Then why aren’t you going to dinner with him?”
That was the million-dollar question.
