My throat burned. I loved all four of them and knew I was beyond lucky to have them in my life. But their love was stifling sometimes. I couldn’t breathe under the weight of it.
“They can’t know. Not even Nash.”
I knew that was asking a lot of Caden. Nash was his best friend. And I didn’t think he’d be crazy about Caden dating his baby sister. None of my brothers would be when Caden had never dated a girl for longer than a weekend since middle school.
Caden frowned at me. “This could come back to bite us both.”
“Not if we amicably break up when you move back to New York. My family knows I’d never leave Cedar Ridge. It would make complete sense.”
He toyed with something in his pocket that I couldn’t see. “Okay.” Then his smile was back, the one that had me wanting to lean just a little bit closer. “Let’s do this, girlfriend.”
* * *
I kickedmy feet onto the porch railing as I took another sip of my beer and cracked my neck, trying to alleviate some of the pressure there. The day had been long. Too long. Usually, sitting out on my tiny cottage’s front porch and watching the sun go down was enough to melt away my troubles. Not this time.
Anxiety churned in my stomach as I thought about what I’d agreed to. But maybe this was exactly what I needed. I’d get to spend time with Caden and see who he truly was and not who I remembered him to be. We likely weren’t compatible. This could be the ticket to finally moving on.
My fingers ghosted to the empty spot on my chest. The place where the necklace Caden had given me on my thirteenth birthday had always lain. It had disappeared the same way Caden had, lost in the shuffle at the hospital the day I’d ended up in a coma. But there were days I still reached for it the same way I wanted to reach for Caden.
Footsteps on my front stairs had my gaze shifting. Roan’s large form lumbered up the steps, day-old scruff dotting his jaw and his light brown hair in disarray.
“Hey,” I greeted, lifting my legs off the railing so he could pass and take the second chair on my porch.
He grunted and sat.
“Want a beer?”
Roan shook his head.
I put my feet back on the rail. I was used to Roan’s silence. It was a balm of sorts when the rest of my family had incessant questions.
We sat there for a while, watching as the sun disappeared over the horizon and left us in gorgeous twilight. This time of day always reminded me of Wren. She’d dragged me out to sit in it more than once, and I wondered if she and Holt were looking at the same sky.
“You okay?”
The question had me jolting out of my musings, and I glanced at Roan. He wasn’t looking at me, but I knew he still somehow tracked every flicker of my reaction. “Sure.”
“You’ve been edgy lately.”
Of course, Roan had picked up on that. Rance’s attention had made me jumpy, and Caden being back only made things worse. “You know how summer is. I’m crazy-busy and ready for that fall break when all the tourists leave.”
Roan was quiet for a moment. “You don’t have to tell me.”
I pressed my thumbnail into the pad of my forefinger. Of course, he’d known that wasn’t the whole truth. He was like some sort of human lie detector.
I went for changing the subject instead. “What about you? How’s work?”
Roan grunted. “Tourists are morons.”
A laugh bubbled out of me. “Bears and campers?”
He nodded. “Got these hysterical girls who thought a serial killer was after them when their tent was slashed to bits.”
“But?”
“But they left chips and candy inside when they went for a hike. They’re lucky they weren’t attacked in their sleep. Read the damn signs.”
I grinned. “Bet they were all over asking you to protect them from the vicious killer.”
