My dad extends his hand for Ford to shake before patting me on the back, then he leaves.What the hell was that?
“Why aren’t you at work?” I ask Ford the moment the front door clicks shut.
He shrugs, sitting down beside me on the couch. “Took the week off.”
“You did?” My brows pinch, head rearing back. “Why?”
“Why do you think?” Leaning in, Ford presses his mouth gently to mine. My body immediately lights up, and I part my lips, allowing his tongue to sweep inside. He tastes like coffee, and his rich scent fills my nostrils as I kiss him back.
When he pulls back, a smile spreads across my lips as I look into his eyes. “Because you love me?” I ask, my voice raspy, remembering how it felt waking up in the hospital the other day and hearing him say that.
He chuckles, the deep sound settling over my tired, achy body. “Guess we’re talkin’ about this now, huh?”
“Yeah, think we probably should.” I chuckle as he gently lifts my injured leg, laying it across his lap as I relax into the back of the couch. “I, for one, would love to hear it again since Iwasa bit out of it the first time. You know…just to be sure I heard it right.”
“Right, of course.” Ford nods, and a smile curls his lips that leads to a deep, rumbly laugh that I know I could, without a doubt, listen to every day for the rest of my life and never tire of it. “Gotta make sure you heard it right,” he teases, squeezing either side of my knee playfully.
Then, in the blink of an eye, something shifts. The air in the room is suddenly thicker.
The humor in his gaze turns into something…different. Something heady. My pulse spikes, the beating in my chest rapid and wild, knowing what’s to come. Which is silly… He’s already said it; it’s already out in the open. But for whatever reason, this feels like the first time. And well, I guess in a way, it kind of is. It’ll be the first time he’ll say it directlytome. I don’t feel ready, but at the same time, I do. But that’s how it’s always been with Ford, right? Nothing ever makes sense, while somehow also feeling completely right every single time.
It’s a paradox.
We’rea paradox.
Clearing his throat, Ford rests a warm, steady hand on my thigh. “Well, in case there’s any doubt about what was said in that hospital room, or about where I stand when it comes to you…” He pauses, dragging in a deep breath. I watch his Adam’s apple roll as he swallows. “You were… You were somethin’ I never saw comin’. When I found your profile on that app, I didn’t understand this…this urge I felt to match with you despite all signs pointin’ to it bein’ a terrible idea. I was fresh out of a failed marriage, I felt broken, and very unsure of myself, and you… Well, you’re twenty years younger than me, a well-known playboy, and the best friend of somebody I work very closely with. On paper, you and I make no sense. On paper, we never should’ve happened—or, at the very least, been over long before now. And yet, the more time I spent with you, the more I got to know you—therealyou—and the more I let you see me too, the deeper I fell.”
Ford’s stormy eyes soften while they hold mine, and the tiniest bit of color splashes across his cheeks. Time stands still. All that remains in focus is him. It’s a rush and a stillness all at once, the way my heart races, but my soul sinks into place.A paradox.The hair on my arms stands up, and my skin tingles. There’s this ache in my chest—not a painful one, but one that’s tender and tells me everything I need to know.
What Ford’s about to say, again… I feel it too.
And once that realization hits me, it’s damn near impossible to sit still, or keep quiet. Suddenly, I’m bursting at the seams, but somehow, I’m able to keep it inside long enough for him to finish.
“When I arrived on scene and saw you, my heart stopped.” The emotion weaved through his words makes my chest tight. “I couldn’t breathe; it felt like a piece of me shattered. Never in my life have I felt fear like I did in those first few moments, when I didn’t know the severity of your injuries, or even if you were goin’ to be okay. Seein’ you like that, it was…gut wrenchin’, and all I kept thinkin’ was how I never got to tell you how I feel. How I could lose you, and you’d never know what you mean to me.”
His voice cracks, and a piece of me does too.
“This started as something casual, and I know it was meant to be fun and nothing more, but it’s more than that for me. And honestly, it has been for a while. I love you, Hollis.” My heart skips a beat, pressure building behind my eyes. “I love the man, the brother, the friend, and the son you are. I love how much family means to you, and the capacity of love you hold for those closest to you. I love how hard you work, but I also love how you never take life too seriously; somethin’ I could learn from you.”
I breathe out a laugh, smiling through misty eyes while he does the same.
“And I love the way you make me feel,” he goes on. “I love the way you came into my life at a time I needed you the most. You were a bright sun shinin’ through years of dark clouds. Hollis, you gave me warmth, and you reminded me what it’s like to be seen. But more than that, you gave me hope, and I don’t think you’ll ever truly know what that means to me.”
Swallowing thickly, I blink through the tears, feeling likemy heart is about to explode in my chest. “Wow,” I rasp, wiping the moisture from under my eyes. “This waswaybetter than the hospital room.”
Ford breathes out a laugh, tears spilling over and rushing down his cheeks, while I do the same. There’s a ringing in my ears, and every inch of my skin tingles. Everything is heightened, and there’s so much I want to say, but none of it feels like enough.
“I already know that nothin’ I’m about to say will come out nearly as put together as what you said,” I say with a small chuckle. “But this ain’t casual for me either. I was really content with my life, never felt like I was missin’ out on anythin’ by being alone. But now… I want more. I wantyou. And I don’t know when the hell it happened, but I’m in love with you, Ford.”
The smile that curls his lips makes the wrinkles around his wet, bloodshot eyes deepen. “Called me by my actual name and everything,” he drawls before clearing his throat. “You must really mean it.”
I throw my head back as laughter bubbles out of me. “I guess I really do.”
We stare at each other for a beat longer, but before either of us can say anything, there’s a knock at the door. I glance at Ford, lifting my brow questioningly.
“Probably your mom,” he offers, reminding me about what my dad said before he left.
I nod and huff a small chuckle. “Leave it to her to pickright nowto show up.”
