What if he’s not?
Harsh breaths expel past my lips as my vision blurs. Just as I’m about to drop to my knees in front of him, as I’m about toassess the scene, strong arms wrap through mine, pulling me back.
“No.” Chandler spins us around before shoving me away.
“Get out of my way,” I growl, trying to move past her. “We need to help him!”
“And we will!” she shouts, her eyes wild as she shoves me in the chest. “But you need to step back—both of you!”
That’s when I notice Sam holding Remi back too. Face red, tears streaming down his cheeks as he, too, tries unsuccessfully to shove past them.
“You’re both too close to this call,” Chandler says. “You’re not thinkin’ clearly. Let us handle this.”
“Not fuckin’ happenin’,” Remi grits out.
“Wait by the engine,” Sam barks, leaving no room for argument. “We got this.”
The rest of our team is already on scene, accessing and helping Hollis, and as much as I want to be right beside him, doing whatever I can, I know they’re right. And Remi does too. Standing off to the side, we watch everything. Time warps, the seconds stretching cruelly. There’s a heavy weight sitting on my chest. It’s crushing my lungs, making it impossible to get air. My head throbs, the endless what ifs running circles in my mind. I can do this job a thousand times over. No matter how tragic or heartbreaking, I do it. I help families, save lives. I can do it.
But not now.
Not when it’s Hollis.
Not when he could die, and I never got the chance to tell him how I feel. Tell him that I’m in love with him.
Please… He can’t die. Please don’t let him die.
I can’t lose him.
Please be okay, baby. I need you to be okay.
Twenty-Six
Ford
It’s too quiet.
Even with the steady beep of the monitor and the low hum of fluorescent lights overhead, it’s too damn quiet. I can’t take it. My knee won’t stop bouncing, and I don’t think I’ve taken a proper breath since we arrived on scene.
Remi sits on one side of the bed while I’m on the other. Neither of us has spoken a single word. We’re still in our gear, wet from the rain, even though it’s been hours. Finn was here, but he left about a half hour ago to drop Ash and Tucker off at home so the latter can go to bed, August and Tripp are down in the cafeteria grabbing something to eat, and Gentry is on his way. He’s been in Austin since yesterday morning, helping Finn and Hollis’s mom move all her horses into her new farm. His plane should be landing any minute.
Exhaustion clouds my mind, but I don’t care. All I care about is the way his chest rises and falls beneath the blanket. Slow. Steady. I’ve never been so grateful for something so simple. So ordinary. The surgeon said it wentwell; a clean break, reset without complications, but my heart hasn’t let go of the fear yet. It can’t. Not until I hear his voice, not until his eyes open and he gives me that crooked, sleepy smile like nothing’s wrong, like he doesn’t even realize the storm he just put us through. I need to hear his voice, need to hear his deep laugh. Feel his hand holding mine.
I need to see him alive and well.
Hollis is lucky; it could’ve been a hell of a lot worse than it was. One broken arm, a sprained ankle, and a concussion. He could’ve lost his life. All thewhat ifsthat rushed through my head when we got the call, then seeing him lying unconscious on the pavement… It reminded me how fragile life can be. How easily it can be ripped away from you. I reach out and carefully take his hand, avoiding the IV and bandages. His skin is warm; it helps anchor me. I know that soon he’ll stir. He’ll groan and blink at the ceiling, maybe even mutter something groggy and ridiculous. And maybe then my heart will unclench. Maybe then I can take a deep breath and relax my shoulders.
Not taking my eyes off Hollis, I say with a cracked voice, “I love him.”
The weight of Remi’s gaze on the side of my head is heavy. “Yeah, you do.”
Glancing over at him, I notice how red his eyes still are, the bags under them. He looks about as tired as I feel.
“The way you reacted when we got that call told me everything I needed to know,” he explains. “You’re in love with him, and I’m guessin’ you didn’t even realize it until you thought you might lose him.” Lifting a brow, he says, “Am I right?”
A breathy laugh blows past my lips as I nod. “I think I knew before now. I just didn’t want to admit it.”
“Aww, you love me, Cap?”
