I chuckle softly. “Well, alright then. It’s settled.”
That’s all that’s really said about it, and then our food comes. Larry asks me about my job, and I ask some more about his late wife while we eat, and it’s nice. I don’t know what it is about Larry; maybe it’s the anxiety we share, but eating a meal with him and hearing his rich stories is exactly what I needed. And I think it’s what he needed too.
Once we finish, I pay the bill and we make plans to meet here for dinner again in a few days. Walking back to the station and climbing in my truck to head home, I realize for the hour Iwas in that diner with Larry, I was able to push all thoughts about Hollis to the back of my mind. But they’re back in full force now, and as if his ears burn and he knows I’m thinking about him, a notification comes through. It’s a message from him on the app, and my stomach twists as I read it.
KnockinBoots: You can’t hide forever, Cap. *wink emoji*
With a heavy sigh, I toss my phone on the seat beside me as I start the short drive back to the cabin. Living on his family’s property isn’t helping matters any. I’m sure that’s at least half of the temptation, him being so close. I desperately need to find another place to rent, but there’s nothing out there. I checked out a house a few blocks from the station last night after work, but it reeked of mildew and looked like an electrical fire waiting to happen.
I opened a can of worms, letting things go where they went with Hollis. The memory of his lips and hands exploring my body, the weight of his on mine…it’s burned into my mind, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t make it go away. I want to experience it all over again. I want to experience more of Hollis, but just because I want something, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. I’m a grown man with self-control and restraint.
These urges and desires will pass with time.
At least I hope they do.
Fifteen
Hollis
“Y’all, I think I’m broken.” I wipe the sweat off my brow with the back of my hand.Goddamn,the Texas heat is out for blood today.
Finn and August exchange an amused look before my brother says, “This isn’t news.”
Narrowing my gaze, I flip him off. “I’m serious. Something is wrong with me.”
Surely, something inside of me is broken, because why thefuckcan’t I stop thinking about Ford?
Finn removes his hat and runs his fingers through the sweaty brown strands as he exhales a heavy sigh. “Fine, I’ll bite,” he huffs. “Let’s hear it, brother.”
“I’m so glad you asked,” I drawl, pulling out my pack of smokes and lighting one up. “I hooked up with someone this weekend, and?—”
“Like I said before,” Finn cuts me off. “This isn’t news.”
“Would you shut the fuck up and let me finish?” I groan, which makes August chuckle. My brother rolls his eyes andgestures with his hand for me to continue. “As I was sayin’, it was someone Ireallyshouldn’t have hooked up with, but it happened…twice, and now I can’t stop thinkin’ about it. And what’s worse is that they’re barely even talkin’ to me. It’s drivin’ me fuckin’ nuts!”
“What do you mean, it was someone you shouldn’t have hooked up with?” August asks, resting his shoulder against the tree we’re standing under for shade. “And weren’t you camping with Remi this weekend?” His eyes widen. “Oh, shit! Did you fuck Remi?”
“What?” I hiss, my head rearing back. “No, I didn’t fuck my best friend. What’s wrong with you?”
“Do not tell me you hooked up with that woman who’s married on Remi’s crew,” Finn mutters.
“Absolutely not.” I shake my head, my face twisting up. “You know I don’t fuck with married people.”
“Well, then, who?” he asks, and he couldn’t appear more unenthused to be a part of this conversation.
I really shouldn’t tell them.
But Ihaveto tell somebody.
“Fine, but you have to keep it to yourselves,” I say. “I’m serious.”
“I won’t tell a soul. Scout’s honor.” August holds up a three-finger salute. “Other than Tripp, of course.”
“What? No!” I scoff. “Nobody!”
“Yeah, I don’t keep shit from Ash,” Finn adds.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I mutter under my breath. Taking a long drag off my cigarette, I consider my options. I can’t talk to Remi about this, for…obvious reasons, but I need to get this off my chest. I’m losing my mind over Ford, and I don’t understand it.Fuck it.Heaving a sigh, I say, “It’s Ford.”
