“Screw the party.” With his hand on the small of my back, Finn guides me toward his truck. Once he gets me situated on the seat, he closes the door and saunters to Gentry. I don’t know what exactly he’s telling him, but whatever it is, Gentry’s gaze cuts over to me before he looks back at his son and squeezes hisshoulder with a nod. Behind the wheel, Finn starts the ignition and takes off toward the house. He reaches over, interlacing his fingers with mine, and the contrast between my soft hand and the roughness of his sends a flurry of goosebumps all over my body.
The drive from Gentry’s to Finn’s doesn’t take but a few minutes, but neither of says anything the whole time. My mind won’t quiet down, and all I can think about is how Violet so disrespectfully outed Finn, and how this is probably too much for him. He’s figuring out who he is, exploring this new side of himself, and I’m sure the last thing he needs is the entire town knowing his dirty laundry.
Pulling up to the house, he puts the truck in park and turns it off, but I don’t make a move to get out. My chest is constricting and it’s hard to breathe. The skin tingling feeling from before comes back with a vengeance as words tumble out of my mouth before I have a chance to even know what I’m saying.
“I love my job, love Tucker more than I can fathom, but I completely understand if everything that’s happened is too much or too real for you. I understand if you want to break it off with me, if you want to fire me and find someone with less baggage. I wouldn’t fault you for that, Finn.” I turn my head, meeting dark, wild eyes and thick, furrowed brows, and as his lips part to say something, I cut him off before he can. “I should go. Should stay somewhere else for the night, or maybe for a while, until you can figure out what you want to do. I can give you space.”
My hand is on the doorknob and I’m outside in the next breath, already starting toward the stairs. I can vaguely hear Finn’s door slamming shut.
“I’ll pack a bag, then be out of your hair.”
He stops me with a tight hand around my forearm, forcing me to spin around and face him. “Absolutely not,” he growls.“You’re not goin’anywherebut inside that house with me. In no world am I about to let you leave when you’re this upset and spend an entire night alone. You’re out of ya mind if you think I would do that.”
“Finn…” His name falls off my lips, cracked and quiet. Barely a whisper.
Shaking his head tersely, his hand slides down, fingers linking with mine again as he says, “No. Get that outta your head. You’re comin’ inside with me, end of story.”
I go to argue or insist, but the words die in my throat as Finn turns, walking up the steps, his grip on my hand tight enough that I couldn’t get away even if I wanted to. Once inside, hand still holding mine, he leads me into the ensuite in his room. Leaving me to stand with my arms hanging heavy at my sides, he turns on the shower. My heart’s in my throat, witnessing the care and gentleness he uses as he undresses me; the concern and the affection swimming in his gaze as he does so is staggering.
“Get in,” he rasps once I’m fully naked, his hand cupping my face, thumb brushing along my cheek. “I’ll be right behind you.”
Feet remaining frozen in place, I shake my head. “I don’t think we… Not tonight. Not after what happened.”
Finn presses his lips to my forehead, his scent surrounding me and filling my lungs. “That’s not what this is, baby. Now, get in, please.”
The water is hot and soothing, cascading down my back as I wrap my arms around myself. It doesn’t take but a minute before Finn joins me. His arms surround my body, holding me tightly for a few minutes before he begins washing me. First, my hair, tilting my head back enough to let the water drench it before he massages shampoo through the strands. His touch is gentle, and the intimacy in this moment has thick emotion clogging my throat.
Once he rinses all the suds out, he grabs his navy-blue loofah from where it’s hanging on the wall, drizzling a decent amount of his body wash onto it before bringing it to my body. He’s intentional as he cleans every inch. When he kneels to wash my legs and feet, he ignores my semi bobbing in his face, and he continues to ignore it when it comes time to wash my groin and my butt.
That’s not what this is.His words circle my mind and wrap around me like a warm hug. Tears prick the backs of my eyes, my heart thudding against my ribs, watching this rugged, grumpy cowboy take care of me, knowing what I need even when I don’t. Once he’s finished washing the soap off my body, he turns the faucet off and rests a steadying hand on the small of my back as we climb out. Wrapping me up in one of the softest, plushiest towels I’ve ever felt, he hugs me again, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
Not bothering with clothes, he flicks off the light switch before we climb under the covers. As he pulls me into his chest, he begins threading his fingers through my messy, unbrushed hair while his other hand rubs along my back. It doesn’t take long for the tears to spill over and run down my cheek, soaking his warm, fuzzy chest. If he can tell I’m crying, he doesn’t say anything, and I’m grateful for that. Mostly because I’m not sure what has me crying more; Violet finding out, and the scene she caused, or the way I feel so safe and loved in his arms.
This feels different from any other time we’ve cuddled. It feels far more intimate than anything sexual we’ve done. My chest feels cracked open, heart exposed, and instead of panic at the vulnerability, I feel nothing but overwhelmingly safe. I feel protected and taken care of. I feel cared for. And even if nothing ends up being okay in the end, even if my sister never forgives me, and even if my whole world just imploded before my eyes,at least I’m able to feel the warmth settle in my bones in the comfort of Finn’s arms.
He has me, truly has me, and I’ve never felt a sense of security like this before.
Chapter 34
Finn
“Ready to go, bug?” I ask, plopping Tucker’s tiny cowboy hat on his head.
“Yeah!” He reaches up and adjusts the fit, like I don’t know what I’m doing. It makes me smile. “Is Ash comin’ with us?”
A pang hits me square in the chest as I shake my head. “Not this time, bug. He’s about to go for a run.”
“Dang it!” Tucker stomps his foot, making me chuckle, right before Ash rounds the corner, padding into the kitchen. “Come with us, Ash!”
A small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes curls on Ash’s lips as he leans down and gets to eye level with my son. “Next time, okay?”
“Why not this time?” Tuck whines. There’s a part of me that wonders if Tucker somehow, intuitively, knows something is up with Ash.
“I’m having an off day, is all,” Ash replies, pinching Tucker’s chin and making him giggle. “And going for a run will hopefully help. But I’ll be here when you guys get back.”
Holding up his pinky, he says, “Promise?”
Ash curls his finger around Tuck’s in the “sacred pinky promise”—his words, not mine—that he taught him a few weeks ago and nods. “Promise. Have fun with your dad.”
