“Sure thing, handsome,” she purrs before practically prancing out of the kitchen, and I can’t help the way my eyes roll again.Barf.
Ignoring Finn’s presence, I grab a pot from beneath the counter before filling it up with water and setting it on top of the stove. Sprinkling some salt and pouring a little oil in the water,I turn on the stove. I can feel his gaze on my back like a physical touch, but I refuse to look at him. It’s clear he has something to say, but fuck him, I don’t want to hear it.Too little, too fucking late, buddy.In the fridge, I pull out the gallon of milk and the pack of smoked sausage, wanting to cut it up and fry it for Tucker and me.
Finn sighs before finally saying something. “Ash.”
My name coming out of his mouth has the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. It sends a wave of goosebumps over my flesh, and I hate it. He jacks off with me, then goes on a fucking date with my sister? Has the fucking audacity to invite her over here, ask me to watch his kid while he takes her out, when I know for a fucking fact he doesn’t even like her that much. And her, she practically throws herself at him. Can’t she see that he doesn’t give a fuck? Like, where is her pride?
Pathetic, the both of them. Maybe they’re made for each other, after all.
“What?” I don’t bother looking over my shoulder at him. Instead, I get to slicing the sausage into little pieces.
“Listen, I know we haven’t talked?—”
I spin around and face him. “You’re right,” I spit out, cutting him off. “We haven’t talked because you’ve been a coward and avoided me, but it’s fine.” Huffing out a dry laugh, I say, “Have fun on your date.”
“It’s not like that,” he murmurs, and it only adds fuel to the fire.
“It’s none of my business.” Turning back around, I continue slicing the meat with a little more aggression, and as I hear him move to leave the kitchen, I add without looking at him, “Make sure you think about me tonight when you fuck her.”
His boots squeak against the floor as I stop him in his tracks. I can feel him staring at me, but I refuse to look, and a fewmoments later, I hear the door slam shut. It startles me, making me jump, but I finally let out the breath I’d been holding.
Good, he’s gone.
Fuck him.
Fuck her.
And most of all, fuck me for being such an idiot.
Chapter 19
Finn
Violet’s droning on about something that happened at work yesterday, but gun to my head, I couldn’t recite a single word of it. My mind is so far from this restaurant, it’s not even funny. I was already dreading tonight, but that was made infinitely worse by the fit Ash threw when he came out of the shower and saw his sister there. I should’ve warned him, should’ve been honest with him about what my plans were when I asked him to babysit for me, but I didn’t know what to say.
Things haven’t exactly been smooth and easy around the house lately, and I know it’s my fault. After that night in his bedroom, I panicked. I sent myself straight into a spiral that I’m not entirely sure I’ve made my way out of yet, and it was easier to ignore it all than admit to myself how much I enjoyed it. Because if I admit that, then what does it mean for me? For everything I’ve known about myself up until this point?
In addition to avoiding being alone with Ash at all costs, despite how much I wanted to repeat what happened, I’ve also done my best to avoid Violet too. I knew from the minute Istepped foot into Ash’s bedroom that I needed to end it with Violet, but I’ve been putting it off. Ash is right, I’ve behaved like a coward. But if I’m being honest with myself, I’m afraid to break up with her. Not because I see a future with her, and not even because I know it’s going to hurt her feelings, but because I know that once I do, I’ll have nothing holding me back from fully exploring whatever this thing is with Ash.
I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I don’t think I’ve even come to terms with it all, but I can’t put off breaking up with her any longer. It’s not fair to her. I’m not the poster child for open communication—in fact, if the last two weeks have proven anything, it’s that I suck at it—but I’ve also never been somebody to string someone along either. I know how shitty that feels from firsthand experience.
My ex-wife stayed in our marriage and in town much longer than she wanted to, and I didn’t see that for what it was until she had already left, and when I realized it, it fucking hurt. So, I’m not about to do that to Violet.
She’s still rambling as my mind replays the snippy way Ash spoke to me before I left, and the disgust on his face when Violet touched me. It’s wrong of me, but I can’t help but find his jealousy hot.
“Are you listening to me?” Violet asks, pulling me from my ramped thoughts. A smile tugs on her lips as he glances over the table at me with her head tilted to the side.
I drag in a breath before blowing it out. I need to get this over with. “Listen, I don’t know how to start this, so I’m just going to say it.”
Her smile falls as she sits up straighter in her chair. “Is everything okay?”
“Violet, we’ve had fun,” I start, feeling severely uncomfortable having this conversation, and at a restaurant, to boot. I should’ve done this at the house, but then Ash would’vebeen there, and I felt terrible doing it at her place. “I like and respect you so much as a person, and you’ve been nothing but great since we started dating.”
She’s smiling, but it looks more like a wince than anything. “Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?”
Christ, this is awkward.
Deciding to just go for it, I say, “I think it would be best if we cut things off. I’ve got a lot on my plate, and I’m not in a place where a relationship makes sense. I know we got together because it was convenient for us both at the time since we’re both busy, but I just can’t anymore, and I hope you understand.”
