And why thefuckdid I say it back to him?
“Somebody’s feeling frisky today,” Violet moans against my lips, and it’s not until now that I realize how hard I am. My hands have somehow found their way to her hips and I’m grinding her against my cock.
I bite down on her bottom lip with a growl. “I want to fuck you,” I say, dragging my palms underneath her dress and up her thighs—her smooth, soft thighs. She breathes out a moan as I run my fingers over her wet lace-covered core. Crashing her mouth to mine, she kisses me eagerly as I pull the material tothe side and push my middle finger into her tight heat. Her walls clench around the digit, and my cock throbs.
This is exactly what I needed. Her. My girlfriend.
Whatever I felt last night was because he looks like Violet. They’re twins. My mind was hazy from the liquor, and I was horny from the lack of sex I’ve had as of late. He resembles his sister. My girlfriend. So, my mind short-circuited for a minute and made me think it was something it wasn’t.
I don’t find men attractive. I never have.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
But I’ve never looked at a man and felt anything even close to attraction. I’m not attracted to Ash. The hoop through his nose…not attractive. The bars through his nipples…okay,objectively speaking,those are hot. But nipples are nipples. It’s not like his are covered by chest hair and clearly are nipples belonging to a man. Maybe his nipples resemble Violet’s. Maybe the zing of what I refuse to believe is arousal that shot through me when I saw those was because they made me think of my girlfriend.
Her nipples aren’t pierced, but still.
The sight of Ash in tight shorts, topless, on all fours in my front lawn flashes in my mind. The way his ass looked in those shorts. The way I could visibly make out a bulge. The way his chest was bare. His cheeks rosy.
Fuck!
Ripping my lips from Violet’s mouth, I gently set her on the couch beside me as I jump up. My hands fly to my hair, gripping the strands to the point of pain.
“What’s the matter?” she asks, fixing her dress, clearly flustered and confused by the change of pace.
“I have to go.” Reaching down, I adjust my erection, wishing my heart rate would slow the hell down.
“What?” she hisses, her brows pinched. “Why?”
“I have to get back to the ranch,” I murmur, running my palm along my stubbled jaw, feeling like I’m spinning out of control with no way to stop it. “I forgot there’s somethin’ I gotta do. I’ll call you.”
Violet jolts to her feet. “Finn, wait!”
Hand on the doorknob, I pause but don’t look back at her. I can’t.
“Is everything okay?” she asks. “Did I do something?”
“Everythin’s fine,” I lie through my teeth before I open the door and leave.
The drive back to the ranch is spent in silence. The radio is off, and the only thing I can hear are my loud and obnoxious thoughts. I glance at the clock on the dash, and I pray like hell Ash is already in his room when I get home. It’s only a little after nine, but maybe he was extra tired today.
Fuck, I don’t know.
All I know is I can’t face him right now. I can’t look him in the eye after I just pictured him while fooling around with his sister. It makes no fucking sense, and it’s wrong. So, so wrong. My head’s a mess, and I don’t understand where all this is coming from, but I need to figure it out and get it under control.
He’s Violet’s brother.
He’s my nanny.
He’s a fuckinghe.
I’m not attracted to him. I’m just not. That’s not possible.
I’m nearly thirty years old. I think if I was attracted to men, I would’ve realized it before now. Look at Hollis… He realized he was attracted to men when he was a teenager. Maybe even earlier.
I would know if I was gay or bisexual or whatever.
I would know.
