“Hey.” Suddenly, this feels awkward. I’ve lost everything I wanted to talk about, so I say the first thing that comes to mind, and it probably isn’t the best thing to say. “Suzy asked about Grady. She wants to talk to him. Maybe let her call him tomorrow if you have time.”
Her eyes narrow. “Got it.”
“Jade, we need to talk. It can’t keep going on like this. We need to work things out, for Suzy’s sake.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she bites out. “Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you slept with my brother and hid it from me.”
I wince before I can stop myself. I hate knowing how much this has hurt her.
“Would you have rather had me tell you right away? Would that have made it any better in your eyes?”
If looks could kill, I’d be long dead by now. “To be honest, I’d rather it not have happened at all.”
As upset about the situation as I am, with Grady not wanting to talk to me, I understand where she’s coming from. Nothing about this situation is fair to her. “I’m sorry, Jade. I realize thisisn’t ideal, and it’s not like either of us set out to do this with the intention of hurting you. It just happened.”
“How does sleeping with your brother-in-lawjust happen?”
“It’s not just about sex, Jade.” I scrub a hand down my face, my throat tightening with emotion. “I didn’t mean to develop feelings for him. It was never in my plan.Thatis what just happened.”
Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she’s quiet for a moment. “Did it…” Clearing her throat, she doesn’t look at me as she continues. “Did you have feelings for him when we were still married?”
“No!” I rush to say, shaking my head. “Jade, I didn’t cheat on you. I wouldn’t do that. I never saw Grady this way at any point during our relationship, I promise you.”
Silence falls over us for a moment, and I hate it. Even though I don’t regret what Grady and I shared, I do hate that I’ve hurt Jade. She doesn’t deserve that. I still have love for her, and seeing the pain I’ve caused is eating me up inside.
“Boone, I can’t do this with you. I’m still so angry with both of you. I don’t have the patience or the energy to hash it out with you, or with Grady. I need space.” She pauses for a moment. “And when you get home, I’ll be moving in with Michelle until we get the house sold.”
“Jade, you don’t have to move out. That’s your house. If anything, I can leave.”
“No, I want to,” she insists, still not making eye contact with me. “Michelle just bought a new house, and it’s close to work, and she wants a roommate anyway. I don’t want to live in the house anymore. Besides, Michelle’s nanny is the one who’s been watching Suzy for me while I’ve been at work, so it makes sense.”
Michelle is Jade’s best friend. They’ve been friends since high school, and she just went through her own divorce. She’s got a little boy who is around Suzy’s age.
“We can talk about this more when I get home, Jade. Please don’t make any rash decisions.”
“Don’t talk down to me like I’m incapable of making a responsible decision,” she snaps, eyes narrowing as they find me. “I’ve thought about this, and it’s what I want. We can talk about it when you get home, but it’s not changing my mind. You know what, I gotta go.”
My knee-jerk reaction is to argue with her, but I swallow my words and instead, nod. “Okay. Please have Suzy call Grady. She really wants to talk to him, and he’s still her uncle, even if you’re pissed at him.”
“Fuck off, Boone,” she bites out. “I’m well aware he’s still her uncle, since he’s my fucking brother, but thanks.”
Jade hangs up before I can get another word in, and it’s probably for the best. I toss the phone on the bed beside me, dropping my head into my hands. What a fucking mess. The worst part of all of this is how much I miss having Grady around. It’s only been a week, but I can’t take it. I want to talk to him. Thinking back on Shooter’s advice, I know I need to give him space, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing that.
Selfishly, I can’t help but wonder if this is as hard for him as it is for me. Does hewantto talk to me, and he’s just stubborn and won’t let himself? Or is he over it all? Am I nothing more than a mistake he made? I sure as fuck hope it’s not the latter.
36
Grady Wilde
“It’s going to be fun,” Xander coaxes as we walk into Boots and Bourbon, the bar he suckered me into going to tonight. “Trust me.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” I mumble under my breath.
The Copper Lake crew is already here, since they drove over as soon as the rodeo was over. I don’t think any of them even changed before coming. The most they did was take off their chaps—which, in my opinion, is a damn shame. Xander came with me back to my room after the rodeo so I could drop off my equipment, which is why we’re showing up later than everyone else. Luckily, the hotel I’m staying at this week is down the block from the bar, so I can drink tonight without worrying about having to drive.
My stomach is a twisty mess, knowing I’m going to be near Boone. I’ve been successful at avoiding him since we left Copper Lake almost a month ago, but I know that won’t last forever. It hasn’t been easy. I didn’t realize how attached to him I’d become until all of this shit happened. We’ve talked a few times hereand there, but for the most part, I’ve tried to keep my distance. It’s for the best. Even on the nights when I go hang out with everyone at their campsite, I purposely steer clear of him, and I definitely leave well before anybody goes to bed. I think the worst thing I could do is wind up alone with him, because I don’t trust myself to keep my hands to myself. I miss him.
I’ve spoken to Jade a few times when I’ve called to check in with Suzy, but she’s holding on to her stance that we need to talk once I’m home. Apparently not a moment before. It’s all been so fucking hard. It feels like I’ve lost the people who mean the most to me, and it’s my fault. I’ve got no one to blame but myself. It wasmewho betrayed my sister’s trust and continued to hide it. It wasmewho allowed myself to develop feelings for somebody I knew I shouldn’t.
