35
Boone Stanton
“Should we get another rack of beer?”
“Probably,” I mutter, wandering through the bakery at the grocery store Shooter and I are at, stocking up on food for this week.
We’re in Dirks, Colorado, for the next five days, with back-to-back rodeo nights starting tomorrow. We got into town this morning, hence the grocery run, and I’m just not feeling it. It’s been over a week since we left Copper Lake and hit the road again, and in that time, I’ve barely spoken to Grady. He’s been a fucking pro at making himself scarce unless we really have to be around each other. He’s not even staying at the campsite anymore.
“You finally going to tell me what’s got you moping around?” Shooter asks, grabbing a pack of blueberry muffins off the table and putting them in the cart. He knows Jade found out about me and Grady. There was no way to hide that from him when it was obvious something was up when Grady didn’t ride with me.
“I’m not moping,” I lie. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine,” he pushes. “Even your badass, near perfect scoring win last weekend didn’t cheer you up. Is this about Grady?”
Shooter’s right. I scored a ninety-eight on night two of the rodeo in Monroe last weekend. A hundred is a perfect score, and it’s something none of us have ever reached. It’s a score that should’ve had me still riding a high but, while I’m proud of it, it just didn’t do the trick. I’ve been in a shit mood since the whole confrontation with Jade took place, and I hate that Grady won’t even talk to me.
“So what if it is?” I mumble, pushing the cart around the corner into the next aisle.
“Damn, you actually care about him, don’t you?”
Scowling, I say, “Of course, I care about him, dumbass. I’ve known him for how long now?”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
“No, I don’t think that I do.” I don’t know why I’m being purposely obtuse. I know exactly what he means, but I’m not ready to admit that.
Thankfully, Shooter drops it—at least for now—and we finish getting what we need. After we load it all into the back of my truck, we climb inside and start toward the campsite. It’s only about ten minutes from this store. Unfortunately for me, Shooterdropping itonly lasted for the duration of our shopping trip.
“Talk to me, man,” he mutters, shifting in his seat until he’s facing me.
“About what?”
“God, you’re fucking annoying when you’re heartbroken.”
“I amnotheartbroken,” I scoff.
Shooter snorts. “Yeah, you are, Boone. You’re mopey and sad and angry and, frankly, I’m kinda glad to see you’re not totally heartless after all.”
“The fuck does that mean?”
“Down, boy,” he says with a laugh. “It just means that during your whole separation with Jade, you seemed totally fine. Hell, you took forever to even tell any of us, and we were shocked when you did because we had no clue. You seemed totally indifferent about your marriage ending.”
“That doesn’t make me heartless, you idiot.”
“Okay, maybe heartless was the wrong word,” he admits. “But this is totally different from then. You’re really into him, aren’t you?”
I glance over at him for a moment, wondering if I should just confide in him. He’s clearly not going to let it go, and I could probably benefit from getting some of this off my chest. It’s not like I can talk to Grady about it.
Fuck it.
“This is different from when my marriage ended with Jade, because by the time Jade and I admitted to ourselves that we needed to get a divorce, I think we’d both already fallen out of love with each other. It felt like something that needed to happen, and by the time we got to that point, I had already mentally gotten over it. It wasn’t some fast, unexpected split. Shit with Jade and I was bad long before we called it quits.”
“And it isn’t like that with Grady?”
“No.” I blow out a breath, already getting frustrated. “The situation with Grady is nothing like with Jade. They aren’t the same in any way. I was blindsided by the way Grady made me feel. By the things I wanted to do with him.” My cheeks heat, and I’m sure they’re red. “Grady was different. Is different. And the intensity with which I felt for him took me by surprise, and then it just ended.”
“How did you see it playing out in your head?” he asks, without judgement. “In the long run, how did you see it going?”
