I can’t seem to drag in air fast enough.
I can’t do anything except hold on and let him destroy me.
We move together in perfect synchrony, and when he pulls back, meeting my gaze, I nearly combust on the spot. His pupils are blown, eyes glazed over, eyelids heavy and hooded, cheeks flushed a rosy red. I’ve never seen him look more gone than he looks right now.
Heat pools low in my groin as pressure builds. It spreads until it feels like I can’t hold on any longer. “I’m close,” I cry out, reaching between us to wrap a shaky hand around my throbbing length. “Boone… Fuck!”
A growl rumbles from his chest, and he somehow fucks me even harder than before. “Let me see you come, G,” he rasps. “Give it to me.”
I’m panting, my chest heaving with fast, shallow breaths as the pressure increases within me until I can’t hold on any longer. I cry out, head thrown back as my cock pulses, my release covering my hand.
“Fuck yes,” Boone hisses. “That’s it.”
He doesn’t slow down. If anything, he goes harder. With each brutal thrust, I feel my walls breaking down. Every look into my eyes, every moan that slips past his lips, I feel myself cracking. And as his body tenses up and he spills his release inside of me, I just know… I fucked up because I didn’t just let Boone inside my body today. I let him inside my heart too, and the aftermath is going to crush me.
After we cleanedourselves up at the barn, the storm subsided enough that we were able to drive back home. Neither of us said a word to each other the whole drive, and if I had to guess, I’d say we were both probably in a little shock over what happened. That was hands down the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. And it never should’ve happened. If I thought I was into Boone before, it has nothing on how I feel now that I know what it feels like to have him inside of me. Now that I know what it feels like to have his face inches from mine, hot, ragged breath brushing across my lips as he comes.
I’m such an idiot. A lovesick, horny-for-Boone idiot.
Having to sit at the table with Jade, Suzy, and Boone earlier after we got home as we ate dinner was the most uncomfortable experience I’ve ever had. Knowing what we had done just hours before was torture. I couldn’t even look at him. Or Jade. Don’t even get me started on the fucking guilt I feel. I betrayed my sister again. God, she’d hate me if she knew.
A soft, barely-there knock sounds at my door. Glancing at the clock next to my bed, I note that it’s nearly eleven o’clock. My heart races as I climb out of bed and pad across the hardwood floor toward the door.Is it Jade? Did she find out, and now she’s here to disown and kick me out of her house?
I pull the door open, surprised to find Boone standing on the other side. My heart races all over again, but for a very different reason. He’s dressed in only a pair of black briefs, and he smells so good. It’s hard to tell in the dark, but the ends of his hair appear to be wet, like maybe he took a shower not that long ago.
Face unreadable as he stares at me, he asks quietly, “Can I come in?”
Unable to think straight or respond, I open the door wider and step to the side, letting him pass by me. His fresh, clean scent wafts by stronger this time as he enters my space, and I hate how much I want to bury myself against him so I can live and breathe that smell for as long as possible. I don’t bother turning on the light. The air between us is tense. It simmers without either of us having to say a word.
Boone rounds my bed, climbing on and getting underneath the covers, and I do the same. It’s like a million things are being said without ever actually speaking. In an instant, Boone’s strong arms are wrapped around me, and I’m pulled into his chest. His heartbeat thumps against my cheek, and I let out a sigh. How can being here like this feel so right when I know it’s wrong?
My heart feels twice the size it should be, stomach up in my throat. One of his hands is cupping the back of my head, fingers threading through the strands of hair while his other is rubbing mindless circles on my bare back. It’s comforting and soothing. It almost feels like he somehow knows the guilt I’m feeling, and he’s trying to take it from me. Trying to quiet my mind for me.
My eyes burn with hot tears the longer he holds me, and I really think I might lose it when I feel his soft lips press down on the top of my head. During this entire interaction, neither of us says a single word. But it’s somehow exactly what I need, at least for tonight.
Sex with Boone is earth shattering.
But this—falling asleep wrapped up in his touch? It’severything.
Eventually, I do drift off, and when I wake, he’s gone and the side of the bed he was occupying is cold. I can’t help but wonder if I made the whole thing up in my head. Maybe it was nothingmore than a dream, except when I roll over and press my face into the pillow beside me, I catch a whiff of his scent, and I know it was real.
Too bad it doesn’t change anything.
29
Boone Stanton
It’s been three days.
Three goddamn days since Grady and I had sex and he let me hold him as he fell asleep, and he’s avoided me ever since. It shouldn’t bother me as much as it does. I shouldn’t obsess over what it means. Is he avoiding me because it was bad? Did he not enjoy it andthat’swhy he’s avoiding me like the plague? Does he regret it?What does it mean?I’m driving myself crazy, and I don’t know how to stop. I’ve never been this in my head after hooking up with someone before. Granted, I haven’t really hooked up with that many people, considering I married Jade shortly after graduating from high school.
A pit in my stomach forms every time I consider that maybe it wasn’t as good for him as it was for me. It makes me nauseous to think that maybe this is one sided. I want to ask him, but how the hell am I supposed to start a conversation like that?
It’s currently just before noon and already hot as hell out. I’m sitting on the back porch, watching Suzy and Mabel play together in the yard. They’re running through the sprinklerwhile Suzy attempts to play fetch with Mabel, but Mabel sucks at this game. She’ll fetch the ball no problem, but it’s the giving it back to Suzy afterward that seems to be an issue. It’s been nice being home the past week, getting to spend time with my daughter, even if my head is bogged down with all the pesky thoughts about Grady and what we shared in the barn.
The ride home was silent afterwards. No music, no talking. Nothing. It was painfully awkward. As soon as we pulled up at the house, Grady hopped out and headed straight for his room. Coming into the house and finding Jade downstairs waiting for us was uncomfortable. My ears and my cheeks burned hot. It felt like she could read what we had just done all over my face.
I tried to shove the barn out of my mind that entire evening. Tried to give him space because I knew it was probably a lot for him to process—hell, it’s a lot for me to process—but I couldn’t shake the feeling of needing to be near him. When I showed up outside his bedroom, I fully expected him to send me away, but then he surprised me by letting me in. All of my inner turmoil faded as soon as we laid down together, and there wasn’t a single part of me that wanted to leave that bed, but I knew I had to.
