“I don’t know, confused, mostly.” Boone meets my gaze. “I’m not freaking out in a bad way, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“If you were, that would be okay,” I say.
“Have you always known?”
“That I was gay?” I ask. When he nods, I do the same. “Yeah, pretty much. But look at Cope. He’s not much younger than you, and he just discovered this part of himself too.”
“Yeah…” A beat of silence passes over us. It feels like I should say something to fill it, but I don’t know what. Finally, he quietly says, “Can I say something that I probably shouldn’t?”
My throat tightens and my heart pounds against my ribs. “Sure,” I breathe out.
He pauses, and the anticipation grows in my stomach. “I kind of wish things were different because it feels easy and comfortable exploring this new discovery with you.”
Boone’s words hang in the air. I don’t know what to do with them. They twist my gut and make the back of my throat ache. It’s the exact thought I had on my run this morning. It’s not fair, but I guess life isn’t always fair now, is it?
“Me too.” Those two words are all I can manage right now.
Thankfully, a knock sounds from the door before either of us can say anything else. “Yo, you guys up?” It’s Shooter. “Breakfast is ready. Get your asses up and get out here. We got a busy day!”
A smile tugs at my lips. “What are we doing today?” I ask Boone as we both stand up.
“Fuck if I know.” He laughs, and suddenly, the mood feels lighter.
I’m glad we talked, because it all needed to be said, but it doesn’t make it suck any less. I’m just hoping we can finish out the season without any other incidents. I really love this job and getting to come on the road, and I’d hate for whatever this is—or was—between us to mess that up. Next year, I’ll have to come up with another plan, though. Buy my own camper or something.
Everyone is already outside by the time we get out there. Colt’s grilled some breakfast burritos for all of us, and they’reactually really fucking good. Sometimes the food on the road can be kind of lacking, but this hits the spot this morning.
“So, what kind of busy day do you have planned for us?” I ask Shooter.
He beams. “I thought you’d never ask.”
“Oh, boy,” Cope grumbles nearby.
“I thought it would be fun to go for a little hike up to a spot where we can zipline.”
“What?” I hiss. “No way. I’ll stay back.”
“Nobody’s staying back, little Wilde,” he growls. “We’re all going to zipline, and we’re going to have tons of fun.”
“That’s dangerous,” I say, already feeling nauseas at the thought of it.
“No more dangerous than riding broncs and bulls,” he retorts.
“Yeah, well, I don’t do either of those things, so I’m good.”
Boone chuckles beside me, and I shoot him a glare. He shrugs innocently. “He’s not going to let you get out of this.”
“You’re a part of us now, little Wilde,” Shooter says in a soft, yet domineering tone. “We’re all family, and family sticks together always.” It’s a sweet thing to say that hits me right in the chest. But then he has to ruin it by adding, “Including ziplining. You’re fucking coming with us if I have to strap you to my back and force you.”
“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter.
As much as Idon’twant to do this, because me and heights do not get along, I can’t help but lean into the part where he said I was a part of them. That we werefamily. And after the falling out I’ve had with my parents, that means more to me than I think any of these guys realize.
This was aterribleidea.Horrible. We’re all on a fuckingcliff, wearing helmets, harnesses, and Go-Pro cameras attached to our heads, ready to jump to our fucking death. Daisy, Jessie, and Sterling have already ziplined away. The sounds of their screams echoed off the mountain, and it did nothing to ease my nerves.
Who the fuck actually does this shit for fun?
Shooter steps up to me, a cocky smirk on his face as he pats my cheek with his palm. “You’re white as a ghost, little Wilde,” he muses. “Relax.”
