“Do you feel sad?” she asks, taking me by surprise. The one thing we haven’t talked about regarding this mess is our feelings. We’ve talked about the logistics of it. We’ve talked about the finances. The future. How it’ll all work with Suzy and with the house. But never our feelings.
My throat is dry as I nod. “A little,” I reply honestly.
Jade swipes her hand across her cheek, gathering a tear that fell just below the sunglasses. “Me too.”
I sit with her response for a moment, soaking it in and allowing myself tofeel. Glancing over at her, I ask, “We’re still going with our original plan? With the house?”
When we first started discussing the possibility of a separation, and an eventual divorce, the topic of our house obviously came up, along with all of our other assets. At first, we went back and forth about whether one of us would take over the mortgage, stay in the house, while the other moved out. That option didn’t sit right with either of us, though. We bought it together, and continuing to live here without the other felt wrong.
In the end, we decided it would make the most sense to sell it and split the profits.
Jade nods. “Yeah, I think so.” She turns her head toward me. “We’ve made it this long living under one roof, what’s another year?”
Laughter slips past my lips. “You’re not wrong.”
Before we sell, there are a few things we want to update or repair around the house to improve the selling price. One of the biggest is a new fence around the property, which is something both of us want to be a part of. Because of my schedule with the rodeo, I won’t get home until mid-September. Then we have to research and find a company to do it, and with winter coming and how cold it gets, it made the most sense to wait until the spring to have the fence installed once we find somebody. Withthe timing of it all, I’ll be back on the road, so we’ll wait until I’m home next fall before we list the house on the market.
It’s not ideal, but like Jade said, we’ve made it work thus far. What’s a little longer? Despite our impending divorce, we still get along well, and I’m gone a lot of the time anyway because of the rodeo.
Jade blows out a breath, sitting up straighter. “Well, then it’s settled.” There’s a hint of sadness in her tone, and it’s a feeling I share. It’s a bittersweet moment.
Chest cracked open, emotions flood my system. I’m overwhelmed by the juxtaposition of feeling both relieved and heavy-hearted about the end of our marriage. But because a parent’s job is never over, we put those feelings back into the little boxes we hide inside ourselves as Suzy and Mabel wander over to us. We get up and go about our day, never letting her see what’s going on behind the scenes. It’s something she’s going to need to know about soon…but not now. Not when I’m only home for a few days.
For this week, we’ll be a happy family for her sake, because soon her little world is going to turn upside down, and I hate that for her. Above all, I wish I could preserve her innocence for as long as possible. Let her believe everything is perfect.
I can only hope we’re doing what’s best for her, and for us, in the long run.
3
Boone Stanton
Steam billows around me as I step out of the shower and reach for the plushy, deep purple towel hanging on the rack. Night one of Stampede Days is complete, and it was a solid start to the week. I rode hard and scored well, but I somehow fucked up my neck at some point. It’s stiff, and I can barely turn my head. I’m hoping between the ibuprofen I took when I got home, the scalding hot shower I just soaked in, and the heating pad I’m about to put on it when I go downstairs, it’ll feel good as new tomorrow.
Jade brought Suzy to the rodeo tonight so she could watch me. I put her to bed as soon as we got home, and after a quick check in her room lets me know she’s already passed out, I drop my dirty towel in the laundry room before heading downstairs. The lights on the lower level are off, but a glow from the TV shines from around the corner, meaning either Jade or Grady are in there watching something. Hopefully the latter, because I wouldn’t mind kicking back, having a few beers, and watching a movie with Grady. Whereas hanging out with Jade sounds aboutas appealing as pulling teeth. Grady and I have pretty much always gotten along. Sure, I’d rather spend my time alone when I’m home for a short while, but there are worse people to hang out with.
Peeking my head around the corner, I spot him on the couch. “Hey, I’m grabbing a beer,” I tell him. “Want one?”
He snaps his head in my direction, a smile spreading across his face. “Scared me.” He breathes out with a laugh. “Sure, I’ll take one.”
Two ice-cold cans in my hand, I pad out to the living room, handing one to Grady before I take a seat on the other end of the couch. “What’re we watching?” Really looking at the TV, I add, “Wait, is thisHarold and Kumar Go to White Castle?”
Grady snorts as he takes a drink of his beer. “Oh, yeah. Never gets old.”
Huffing a laugh, I say, “Holy shit, I haven’t seen this since I was a teenager.”
Cracking open the top, I bring it up to my lips and let the chilled liquid fill my mouth. I bite back a groan that wants to break free, becausethisis exactly what I need after a long day at the rodeo. Stampede Days is my favorite event of the year. On the circuit, we go to a handful of similar events, but nothing as special as this one. One of the largest outdoor rodeo and western celebrations, Stampede Days has been around since the early 1900s, and it’s so much more than just a rodeo. There’s a parade, a carnival, tons of small businesses set up in booths lining the street, food, drinks, and on the very last day, there’s a huge waffle breakfast that’s free for anybody in town.
Speaking of… “How was today?” I ask Grady, turning my head and taking him in.
He glances over at me, resting his beer on top of his thigh. “It was good,” he replies, sounding like he means it. “There’s somuch to see, so I hope I got some good shots. I think I did, but you never know.”
“I’m sure you did great,” I mutter softly. “Stampede Days is such a huge event; Hannah wouldn’t have hired you to do it if she didn’t think you could handle it or didn’t think you had what it takes.”
One of his shoulders raises in a lazy shrug. “Yeah, but thinking someone has what it takes is a whole lot different than actually having what it takes.”
“Don’t downplay it, G. You earned this.” Taking another sip, a thought pops into my mind. “Did you see your folks today? Do they know about your gig?”
Grady chews on the inside of his cheek as he shakes his head, and I regret bringing them up. “They didn’t go, and I haven’t told them. If they know, it wasn’t from me.”
