“Now, I’m not saying the guy’s in love with you or anything, but the way he looks at you isn’tnothing.”
“That’s impossible, Xander.”
“Why?” he asks as his eyes search mine. “Why would that be so impossible?”
“Because… Because I’m me and he’s Boone Stanton. That’s just not how the world works.”
“Oh, bullshit.” Xander elbows me in the side. “Look at me and Cope; we’re polar opposites on so many levels. He’s a cowboy through and through, and I come from the city. I’d never stepped foot on a farm before coming to Copper Lake and he was raised on one. He was never interested in men before me and I’m gay. By your logic, we never should’ve happened, but I’ve never felt more at ease, more happy, than when I’m with him.”
“Okay, fine, but what about the fact that he’s my sister’s ex-husband? I’m a horrible brother for feeling this way toward him at all.”
“It does make things trickier,” he agrees, and I can tell he’s holding back a wince. “I’m not saying it’s a perfect situation, but it rarely ever is. I was dating someone when I met Cope, and my feelings for him confused the hell out of me. There was a lot of guilt over it all at the time. Maybe there really isn’t anything there. Maybe it was only a kiss, and nothing more. Maybe Jade never has to find out, and things will go on as normal. Or maybe it’s more than just a kiss. Maybe there’s something there worth exploring. It won’t be easy, and it might get messy, but you shouldn’t let the worry of ‘what if’ drag you down before you even know anything. If there’s one thing I’ve learned since meeting Cope, it’s that things are rarely black and white. And if something feels right, or you can’t get something off your mind, you owe it to yourself to at the very least explore it. Like I said, it could be nothing, but it could also be something.”
We get to the arena, and I now have a thousand other thoughts running through my head than before. “Thanks, Xander.”
“I don’t think I really helped, but I’m always here if you need to vent or anything.”
The night goes by in a blur. Before the rodeo begins, I give myself a pep talk and, somehow, I’m able to get myself into the zone. I do my job all evening without too much thought about what Xander and I talked about. I don’t know how I do it, but I do. Although, two things become abundantly clear by the end of the event. One, Boone’s off his game tonight. He rides like shit, making me think that maybe our encounter in the camper affected him as much as it did me. And two, when the buzzer sounded, and he jumped off the bull, I paid attention to him unlike most nights, and just as Xander said, his eyes find me immediately like he instinctively knew where I was the whole time.
Holy shit.
23
Boone Stanton
Tonight can fucking suck it. Actually, this entire day can. I rode like absolute garbage earlier at the rodeo. We all have our days, and not every night is going to be a winner, but fuck, I haven’t ridden that badly in years. It was like I was fresh faced out there. Like I’d never ridden on the back of a bucking bull before. I’m drinking my sorrows away tonight, which is a terrible idea since we have to compete again tomorrow, but ask me if I fucking care.
Spoiler alert: I don’t.
Things between Grady and me have been going pretty well. Not excellent, but not horrible either. That is, until this afternoon when I walked into the camper completely naked except for the towel tied around my waist and ran into a wide-eyed Grady. The way his hungry eyes danced over my wet body was like a physical touch. They danced over every inch of exposed skin, drinking me in. It was a heady experience, and my bodyreacted.
When he brushed past me in his hasty attempt at an escape, I got a whiff of him, which didn’t help matters. His masculine scent made me dizzy. My mouth watered, and an urge to grab him by the arm and haul his body into mine came over me something fierce. I don’t fucking understand the way my body is reacting to him. The way my mind is constantly overcome with this carnal need to do…something. I don’t even know what. Own him? Consume him?
He’s in my head, and he won’t leave.
It’s a little after ten o’clock, and a bunch of us are gathered around the campfire, tossing back beers and shooting the shit. Well, everyone else is shooting the shit. I’m mostly sitting here licking my wounds after how terribly I performed tonight. And when I say “everyone,” I mean everyone besides Grady, who went straight to the camper and passed out as soon as the rodeo ended. I can’t help but wonder what’s been going through his mind since our little post-shower run in. Has he been thinking about it all day too?
If what Shooter said at the end of last season is any indication, I’d say he probably has. Do I like that? My gut is telling me yes, but my mind fucking hates that answer. Why do I like knowing he thinks about me? Why was it so rousing having his eyes on me earlier today in the camper?
Why, why, why?
It seems like it’s all I ask myself anymore.
Directing my attention to Xander who’s sitting directly across from me, he’s pulling up pictures on his phone to show us the new animals he and Cope just got.
“What are their names?” Colt asks, as Xander shows everyone a picture of the two baby pigs.
“Peanut and Pixie.” Xander grins widely.
Colt chuckles before taking a drink. “How many animals is that now?”
Xander starts counting with his fingers. “Well, we have the three highlands, two goats, Jerry, the donkey, the six chickens, and now the two pigs. So, fourteen.”
“Who’s watching all of them while you’re here?” Sterling asks Xander. “Your aunt?”
Xander originally came to Copper Lake from Washington State to help his aunt when she had hip surgery. He ended up falling in love—with the town, but also with Cope, who happened to be Xander’s aunt’s neighbor—and he moved there. It didn’t take long for Xander to move out of his aunt’s house and into Cope’s, where they both live together now. Xander is a city boy who took to farm life very easily. Cope’s always telling us about all the animals Xander wants to get, and Cope likes to pretend like he hates it, but I know he secretly loves it.
He bought his house originally with the plan to one day fill it with a family and a ton of animals, and now he’s halfway there. I’m just waiting for the day that Xander and Cope tell us they’re adding a baby to all the chaos. I’m sure it’s coming.
