“Well, I’ve been to plenty of rodeos in Copper Lake, but what happens in between rodeos on the road? Like, what do you guys do?”
“All kinds of stuff,” I murmur. The lifestyle of a professional rodeo cowboy isn’t for everybody. Especially this time of year. But me and the others from Copper Lake have the traveling down to a science. “It changes every year, but we typically stay at each campsite for, like, three or four days before going to the next stop. And on the days we aren’t competing we find fun shit to do together.”
“Like what?”
“Lots of hiking, we’ve done river rafting before a couple of times, or we’ll hit up fairs that’re going on where we’re at. Every year, we also stop by Clementines family’s farm. They have a big barbeque and party. That’s always fun. It’s a huge property surrounded by a view of the mountains.”
“Wow, that sounds awesome,” Grady replies. His eyes light up, lips tugged into a grin. “Do you ever get sick of it all? Like, the traveling and the sleeping away from home so much?”
I shrug. “Sometimes. Usually toward the end of the season. It’s worth it to me, though. The thrill of getting to ride and compete weighs all of that out. And I won’t get to do this much longer.”
“When do you think you’ll retire?”
“It’s hard to say. A lot of professional bull riders retire around their mid-thirties, but with my size, I’ll probably have to go earlier. I’ve noticed, especially over the last few years, my back hurts a lot easier, and I know it’s got to do with my height. There’s a reason bull riders on average are on the shorter side.”
I chuckle to myself, thinking back to when I first started riding. How so many people told me I wouldn’t make it because of my size. Not only am I taller than most bull riders, but I’m a lot broader too. Of course, fresh-faced, young, determined Boone never allowed that to stand in my way, but I’m paying for it now.
“Do you know what you want to do when you do retire?”
It’s a question I’ve thought a lot about over the last few years, but I always come up empty. “Not really. I want to do something, though. I’ll go stir crazy sitting at home all the time.”
“Yeah, I can understand that.” Grady laughs before getting quiet. I know it’s coming before he even says anything. My hand tightens on the wheel as I wait for the inevitable. “About this kiss,” he finally says.
“Grady…” I sigh, feeling the weight of regret on my shoulders. We never should’ve put ourselves in this situation, and I still don’t even know how or why it happened.
“I’m just trying to say, it doesn’t need to mean anything,” he mutters, and when I glance over, finding him already watching me, we hold each other’s gaze for a single moment beforehe looks away. “We’d both been drinking, and it obviously shouldn’t have happened. It doesn’t need to be a big deal. It’s not like it’s going to happen again, and I don’t want this summer to be weird. This is a huge opportunity for me, and I don’t want to screw it up, you know?”
Blowing out the breath I’d been holding, I nod. “Yeah, I know. And you’re right, it shouldn’t have happened.”
“Okay, exactly. So, let’s pretend it didn’t, okay?”
I feel much lighter as I reply, “Okay.”
The rest of the drive is spent with a nice mixture of small talk and just listening to music. The air doesn’t feel quite as tense now that we’ve had that talk, and now I feel like things are alright again, and we can move on from this.
Pretend it didn’t happen.
It doesn’t need to mean anything.
It’s going to be fine.
We’re both on the same page, and it’s true… Itdoesn’tmean anything. It was just a drunken kiss. Nothing more.
22
Grady Wilde
We’ve been on the road for a few weeks now, and it’s going well. I’m a little surprised. With how tense things were before leaving Copper Lake, I assumed things would be uncomfortable, but they haven’t. It’s been fun traveling with the whole gang, and getting to watch the rodeos every night while working has been insane in the very best way. It feels like I’m a part of something special, and it’s fulfilling. Much more fulfilling than college ever was.
Our first stop was in Bellfire, Colorado, and it was a two-night rodeo event. I got some amazing shots of all the cowboys and cowgirls; a couple that Hannah uploaded to social media right away, and they went viral. That’s a great feeling. Seeingmywork on the internet, and having fans go crazy over it. I sent a few of the shots I got of the animals to my sister so she could show Suzy, and she called me, practically squealing with excitement. Then last week, we were in Sugar Creek, Colorado, for a three-day event. That was fun, and there was a huge turnout. The crowd was wild there. Everyone competed reallywell, but Boone knocked it out of the park all three nights. Getting to watch him compete is an experience all on its own. The natural talent he possesses blows me away. It’s like he was born to ride.
We just got to Elder Village, Colorado, where we’ll apparently be staying for the next four nights. There’s a rodeo tonight in a couple of hours, so I have to head over to the arena soon. Xander met us here, and he’s going to be traveling with Cope to the next few stops. I’m excited to have a familiar face who isn’t a part of the circuit to hang out with. The guys have been busy with their pre-ride rituals for the last several hours—something I’ve learnedallabout recently. Like how Sterling meditates and does yoga before he goes out into the arena. Some of the guys blast hype music and get pumped up, or they have to shower and get dressed in a specific way. Cowboys are a superstitious bunch. To pass the time, Xander and I decided to go take a dip in the lake.
It's been warm as hell the last few days, so the water felt nice. I’m heading back to the camper now to get changed and grab my equipment before we head over to the arena. Sleeping so close to Boone hasn’t been as weird as I thought it would be. Granted, we never really put ourselves in situations of being alone very often. I’m usually asleep—or at the very least, almost asleep—by the time he comes into the camper and climbs into his bed. We’re getting along fine, and things haven’t been awkward or tense since our talk, but I do think it helps that we’re always surrounded by the others, especially if we’re drinking. Of course, we’re alone in the truck when we’re traveling to each new city, but that’s different.
As much as it pained me to tell him that kiss meant nothing, I do think it went a long way to clear the air. It needed to be said, even if it was a bold-faced lie. Because the truth is, that kiss meanteverythingto me. It’s still all I ever think about when I’m alone. I think about it a lot when I’m in the shower, as a matterof fact. But I meant what I said to Boone that day… This is a huge opportunity for me, and I don’t want to screw it up by letting my dumb feelings get in the way.
How he acted immediately after the kiss was over told me everything I needed to know about where he stood, and even if he’s clearly not as straight as I originally thought he was, I’m not the person he’s about to explore that new revelation with, and that’s okay. It sucks, and I wish it were different, but it can’t be. I couldn’t do that to my sister. She’s fought so hard to get me to this place where I’m doing something I love. She’s been nothing but supportive since I told her I was dropping out of college. I can’t be the asshole younger brother who shits all over her kindness. Even if they aren’t together anymore, she’d never forgive me.
