Jesus Christ, this is all such a fucking mess.
Glancing over at Conrad, I consider confiding in him, getting his opinion. A huge part of me is screaming to keep my mouth shut, but another part is saying it might help. And it’s Conrad; it’s not like I think he’d tell anyone. I’m constantly on edge lately, and I think getting some of it off my chest would help alleviate some of that.
Before I can overthink it, I blurt out, “Was it weird for you to date after you and Whit got a divorce?”
I don’t bother looking at him, but I can feel the weight of his gaze on the side of my face, probably wondering where the hell that question came from. “I wouldn’t know,” he grunts.
Turning my head, it’s my turn to stare at his profile with confusion. “What do you mean?”
“It means I haven’t dated anybody.”
“At all?” My eyes widen.
“At all,” he repeats, eyes trained on the road. “Why do you ask?”
My heart hammers as I force myself to drag in a deep breath through my nose. I brought this up, so I may as well see it through. No sense chickening out now.
“I’ve…”Shit,how do I even say all of this without sounding like an asshole? “I’ve had some confusing thoughts about someone lately,” I decide to go with. “Somebody who isn’t Jade.”
That has him glancing over at me. “I don’t think that’s unheard of when going through a divorce.”
“Yeah, but they’re feelings I’ve never felt before. Thoughts I’ve never had before, but now they won’t get out of my head.” Deciding to stick with vague, I add, “I found myself in a…compromising position recently, and I can’t stop thinking about it and what it all means. It’s fucking confusing.”
Conrad doesn’t ask who it is, not that I expected him to, but I appreciate it, nonetheless. “Have you talked to this person about it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Huffing out a laugh, I say, “Probably because I’m trying to make myself believe that if I pretend it never happened, it’ll eventually go away.”
Quirking an eyebrow, Conrad asks, “How’s that working for you?”
“Not great.” I chuckle. “Kind of shitty, actually.”
“Well, maybe start there,” he offers simply, like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
Deep down, I know he’s right. Grady and I need to talk about what happened, but I don’t know how. I’m not ready to do that yet, and I don’t know if I ever will be.
15
Boone Stanton
“Princess, can you bring those paper plates and napkins into the living room for me, please?”
“Yup!” Grabbing the stack off the counter, she runs barefoot into the living room, where Jade and Grady are setting up the movie.
Jade got home last night, and per the request of Suzy, we’re all having a pizza and movie night. Boxes in hand, I stroll into the living room, setting them on top of the coffee table side by side. Without my permission, my eyes flit over to Grady, where he’s sitting on the loveseat with his legs tucked underneath him. An olive green beanie covers his hair, and he’s dressed in a white hoodie and a black pair of athletic shorts. My pulse kicks up when his eyes lift and meet mine, something passing through them I can’t name.
Clearing my throat, I look away, breaking the eye contact as I sit down on the couch beside Suzy. Her mom is on the other side of her, and they both dish up their plates before I do the same. Grady is the last one to grab his pizza. We let Suzy choose themovie, so it’s some princess one I’ve never heard of. She ends up falling asleep toward the end of it, and I take her upstairs to put her in bed before coming back downstairs and joining the other two.
They cracked open another bottle of wine in my absence, both of them sipping from their glasses.
“How was training?” Grady asks Jade, as I sit back down.
“It was good! One of my old supervisors from when I worked there before was at the new Salt Lake office, so I was able to catch up with her, which was nice.”
“When do you start?” he asks.
