Fuck it.
“Henry’s, uh…he’s my boyfriend.”
I’ve known I was gay since I very first started having crushes as a kid, and I’ve been out just as long. My mom has always been more than supportive, and never made me feel like it was something I needed tocome outas. Not to mention, Washington is a very accepting state, so I’ve never had to deal with hate regarding my sexuality, but I know next to nothing about Wyoming and how they handle things.
Cope turns his head, looking at me, but I won’t meet his gaze. I keep walking straight ahead, the weight of his eyes enough tomake me squirm. “Oh, boyfriend.” He says the word like he’s trying it out on his tongue. “So, you’re gay?”
I can’t help but laugh as I finally turn my head and meet his gaze. “Yup. So, I’m gay.”
He smiles, nodding. “My best friend is gay. So is his boyfriend.” He pauses before adding, “Well, obviously.”
Sniggering, I reply, “Well, in your defense, he could’ve been bisexual, so not totally obvious.”
We let the horses go, watching them for a moment. Glancing to my left, I spot Tootsie, where she likes to stand in the morning near the fence.
“How long have you guys been together?” Cope asks. “You and Henry.”
That’s such a hard question to answer. Henry and I are complicated, and we’ve always been complicated. What started out as a random hook-up here and there turned into a friends-with-benefits type deal that lasted entirely too long, then ended up with me getting hurt, and after we went through all of that, we finally got into a semi-functioning relationship.
So, I give Cope the most simplified answer I possibly can. “On and off for about two years.”
“How’d you meet?”
Internally, I scream. He’s asking the worst questions, and he doesn’t even know it. I hate telling this story because it shows off—what most people see as—a power imbalance. But again, I’m a shitty liar, so I give him the simplified version. Which, I guess,technicallywould be a white lie.
“We met at my store. He came in as a customer, and ended up becoming a regular.”
“Store?” he questions, sounding confused. “I just realized I’ve never asked you what you do for work.”
“Oh, I own a marijuana dispensary back home.”
His head snaps in my direction, brows lifted clear into his hairline. “What? You do?”
I nod. “Yeah. It’s legal in Washington to purchase, consume, and even, in some cases, grow marijuana.”
“That’s so fucking wild to me,” he mutters. “It’s illegal here, I think.”
“It is,” I confirm. “Checked before coming here. Gotta say, it’s a little weird being in a place where it’s not legal when, for most of my life, it’s been a normal thing to be around.”
“That’s so cool. So, you own your own business then?”
“I do! Well, I have a business partner, but yeah.”
“Badass,” Cope exclaims as we start walking back toward the barn. “How does that work with you being here, though?”
“I’ve got employees who work the store, and my partner. I’m taking somewhat of a leave of absence, but I can still handle a lot of the paperwork and stuff from here, since it’s digital.”
When we make it back, we spot Aggie taunting some of the chickens. It’s kind of funny the way she’ll stalk them around the yard, pissing them off until they chase her. I’ve never seen a cow run before, but she sure does.
“What about you?” I ask, finally voicing the question I’ve been dying to ask for days now. “Any girlfriend for you?”
Normally, I wouldn’t assume someone’s sexuality. No matter how straight presenting someone looks, you just never know. I don’t necessarily scream homosexual from the outside. But the way he specified that his best friend was gay leads me to believe Cope, himself, is not queer…as disappointing as that is.
“Nah, I don’t have time for all that,” he replies.
“Sure, sure. You probably get enough action on the road that you don’t have to worry about that,” I murmur, both wanting and not wanting to know more.
Yesterday, when we were working on morning chores, I asked a little bit about how his bronc riding works. He explainedhow he and his friends—whom are also in the rodeo—travel for several months out of the year, competing in various shows. All sounds very nomad. I don’t feel like I’d enjoy traveling that much. I’m no introvert; I enjoy being around people, but I also very much enjoy my own bed.
