Heat spreads through my body as his lips press down on the sensitive area between my neck and my shoulder. It’s not meant to be sexual, and I know he’s not taking it any further than that, but I can’t help but replay last night in my mind. How connected I felt to him—and not just physically. It’s like our souls were aligned in a way they’ve never been before. Sex with Xander is always incredible and unlike anything…but last night was nextlevel. The way he was looking at me felt like the weight of a thousand unspoken words, and it was right there on the tip of my tongue to admit just how deeply I’ve fallen for him, but I knew in the middle of sex wasn’t the right time for that.
Pulling back, Xander glances down at me, his forearm rested on my shoulder. “What’re you thinking about?”
It’s like he can read my mind. Like he knows exactly where my head’s at, and he’s taunting me to spill my guts.
“You.”
The lines around his eyes crinkle with a smile. “What about me?”
My heart pounds in my chest, and it feels like I may throw up with the knots in my stomach and the lump in my throat. I feel uncomfortably vulnerable right now, but the want in his eyes, mixed with the nervous way he’s chewing on his bottom lip, makes me think he’s feeling it too.
Everything about this moment is screaming at me that now is the right time. Ignoring the way my pulse is racing, I drag in a deep breath, holding it for a few moments before blowing it out.
And then I do it.
“I…love you, Xander.”
He sucks in a sharp breath, his bright blue eyes widening for a second before almost immediately turning glossy. “What?” The single word comes out no louder than a whisper.
Stomach doing a somersault, I reach out, palm cupping the side of his face. “I’m so in love with you, it feels unreal sometimes. Like maybe it’s a dream, and I made it all up. Basically, my entire life, I thought I was content by myself. I thought maybe being in love wasn’t for me because I’ve never felt anything close to it. I thought the movies and the books and the TV shows were overly exaggerated and, surely, there’s no way people actually felt like that in real life. The jittery feeling.The butterflies. The endless hope that sits in your chest when you look at them and think about your future.”
Xander’s top teeth graze his bottom lip, the moisture filling his eyes nearly spilling over. The tip of my nose burns, and my throat aches, but I force myself to keep going. I need to get it out and off my chest.
“I know we haven’t known each other all that long in the grand scheme of things, but somewhere along the way, I realized with an undeniable certainty that it’s you.” A fat tear falls hot down Xander’s cheek, and I swipe it away with my thumb. “You are the feeling that everyone has always talked about. The feeling everybody is always chasing. The one you see in the movies, in the great love stories. The feeling that I’ve never understood…until you.” My voice cracks, and I have to swallow around the enormous lump of emotion clogging my throat.
“From the moment you came into my life, it’s like, deep down, I knew. Subconsciously, I knew. Things with you feel right. They feel sure, and they always have. I’m not saying I’m naïve to think that things with us will always be a walk in the park, but I believe that even during rough times, you’ll still feel right. You’ll feel like home.” Nervous laughter bubbles out of me as I blink hard, causing a stream of tears to spill.
“Damn you, Cope.” Xander laughs, sitting up and wiping his wet cheeks with the back of his hands. “I was not expecting this level of sweet so damn early in the morning.”
Sitting up too, I toss my head back and chuckle. “Sorry about it,” I mutter.
He looks at me, arching a brow. “No, you’re not.”
“You’re right, I’m not.”
His bottom lip quivers as he sits with what I said. My heart thumps, my fingers tingling with the need to reach out and touch him. But I wait. And fuck, is it worth it.
“Cope, if I haven’t made it more than obvious, I’m fucking crazy about you. You popped up in my life at a time I didn’t even realize I needed you. I was lost and empty but didn’t know it. Didn’t know how much I needed you until you were in front of me. You’reeverything, Cope. Everything I’ve always wanted, and everything I never knew I needed.”
Moving between my legs, his hands wrap around the back of my neck, fingers stroking the hair at my nape. His icy blues dip down to my lips before leaning in and capturing them with his own. My entire body tingles from head to toe at the feel of his mouth moving against mine. At the feel of his hot, wet tongue teasing along the seam, begging for entrance. My chest swells—and so does something else—at the sensation of our tongues tangling. At the taste of him. The feel of my hands around his waist.
When he breaks the kiss and pulls back, his tongue lazily brushes over my spit-slick bottom lip, eyes tracking the movement before they lift, meeting mine. “I fucking love you too, cowboy.”
The organ in my chest swells, expanding to twice the size it should be. At least, that’s what it feels like as I replay those words over and over in my head, a wide, toothy grin splitting my face.
In all my years, I never knew it could be like this.
And now it is, and I feel like the luckiest man alive.
EPILOGUE
Xander Dawson
Four Months Later
“Wake up…”
Cope’s gravelly voice filters through my state of semi-unconscious. The bedding around me is warm and pillow-soft, and I’m so comfortable, it pains me to think of peeling even one eye open. But then I feel the blankets shift, and a nudging hand on the inside of my thigh, gently spreading me open. A brief moment passes, then a hot puff of air kisses the skin around my groin, and a deep groan reverberates from my chest. Suddenly, the idea of having to wake up doesn’t sound so bad after all.
