But hearing him admit to sharing my feelings, even back then, makes my pulse race a little faster in the very best way.
“Do you think she knew?” I ask quietly before plopping a French fry into my mouth.
Josiah thinks for a moment. “Nah.” He shakes his head. “I love Lana with all that I have, but I think she was too lost in her own head to notice anything around her.”
Nodding, I say, “You’re probably right.” And then, even though I’m terrified to hear the answer, I add, “Do you ever regret anything that happened between us back then?”
Technically, I did cheat on Lana once with Josiah. But if I’m being honest with myself, Josiah and I had an emotional affair long before it turned physical. Ishouldfeel bad about that, but I don’t. I think I’ve been in love with Josiah since I was sixteen years old, when he came over to Lana’s, and we sat and talked for hours.
And I think I’ve always known this, too, but I’ve just been too damn stubborn to admit it.
It’s always been him.
Josiah sets his food down beside himself, pulling his knees up, and letting his arms rest on them. His steel-gray eyes find mine, and I know the answer before it even leaves his mouth. My heart beats harder, my chest growing warm, the lump of emotion in my throat thick and impossible to swallow around.
“No, Segan.” He clears his throat, making me think maybe he’s feeling the overwhelming emotion right now too. “I’ve never regretted anything with you, besides leaving.”
Maybe he’s always loved me too.
“Me either,” I breathe, my voice broken and barely above a whisper.
The air crackles between us, my body heating, stomach fluttering. I need him, need his hands on me, his lips, but for some reason, I don’t know how to ask for it. We haven’t had sex since before he left for Nevada. The stress of whether or not I was going to come here just killed my drive, but right now… in the back of this truck, with the nostalgia swimming all around us, it’s all I can think about.
Thankfully, I don’t have to ask, though. Because as if Josiah has some sort of sixth sense dedicated strictly to my thoughts, my needs, my desires, he reaches over, grabbing me by the back of the neck, and hauls me into him. It’s clumsy, our lips colliding, but as his tongue slips into my mouth, licking and tasting and worshipping, I can’t help but let out a deep sigh I’d been holding. The weight of the last week somehow vanishing, even if only for this moment.
I climb into his lap, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt as I open wider, letting him take the kiss deeper. Grinding in his lap, I wish, not for the first time, that I could have him take me in the way I take him. It’s honestly not something I’ve thought much about prior to having sex with Josiah, but I want to give him what he gives me. I want to let him inside of me, but the thought is terrifying.
And right now, in the back of a pickup truck in the middle of an empty field, is not the time to try something new likethat. But still… grinding on his lap for less than a minute has us both panting and achingly hard. I rip my lips from his, needing to catch my breath, and he wastes no time trailing down to my neck, licking, sucking, and nipping the flesh. A groan is pulled from my throat as I drop my head back onto my shoulders.
“Fuck,Josie…”
He reaches up, threading his fingers through the hair on the back of my head as he guides my mouth back to his. Before our lips fuse together, he growls, “I need you to fuck me right here, right now, baby.”
I couldn’t say who moved first, but next thing I know, we’re both completely stripped down, and Josiah is reaching into his backpack to pull out a condom and a bottle of lube. Lathering my fingers in the cool gel, I slip a finger into his tight, hot channel while taking his thick, hard length in my mouth for the first time… ever. Josiah whimpers, hand coming up to rest on the top of my head. The salty taste of his pre-cum drips onto my tongue, and I groan around him, working another finger inside, trying to prep him as quickly, but efficiently, as possible.
It feels like my lungs are constricting, my chest tightening by the time it comes to me rolling the condom on. My head is light and dizzy, and it’s like I might pass out if I don’t get inside of himright this second. This frenzied feeling is intense, my body starved for his.
Smearing some more lube on myself and him, I line the tip of my cock up to his pink, puckered hole, my eyes lifting to meet his as I ease into him slowly. The air between us is heady and stifling, and the velvet-soft heat of him wrapped around me is enough to make my eyes cross. I grit my teeth as I bottom out, needing to give myself a moment.
Leaning down, I brush my lips against his as he whines into my mouth. “Segan,” he grumbles. “Fuck me, please.”
I drag his bottom lip between my teeth, nipping down before I growl, “You’re such a good boy when you use your manners, Uncle Josie.”
“Jesus Christ,” he hisses just before I pull almost all the way out, sinking back in to the hilt.
My hand wraps around the side of the truck, using it as leverage as I start to fuck him in earnest. He’s tight, and hot, and he feels like heaven wrapped around my cock. “Does that feel good?” I ask him, picking up the pace. The truck is rocking, and my pelvis is slapping against his ass as I let myself get lost in Josiah.
He nods, his cheeks flushed, eyes heavy and hooded. “Yes,” he cries out. “Don’t stop.”
“Mmhmm, you feel so good around me, Josie. So fucking good.” I wrap my free hand around his hard and leaking dick, stroking him to the same rhythm I’m fucking him with. “Wanna know something?”
He nods again.
“Seeing the way you fall apart when I fuck you has me wanting to know what it would feel like to have you fuck me.”
Josiah’s eyes darken more than I thought possible, the blackness of his pupils completely bleeding into the gray of his irises.
“Maybe one day soon, you can fill me with your cock,” I continue, punctuating with a deep thrust. “Make me cry out your name as you own me the same way I’m owning you right now.”
