“Nah, it’s cool,” I lie. “Hey, look, I gotta get going. I have something to do today, but I already took Nova potty and fed her before you got up.”
Without waiting for a response, I bolt, regretting every single fucking thing I just said.
32
TRAVIS
My concentration has been shit today. I legitimately haven’t gotten a single thing done that I needed to at work because my mind won’t stop replaying the trainwreck that was my bedroom yesterday morning. What started out as such a perfect morning quickly morphed into something I never would’ve pictured.
And the way Mateo hightailed out of there afterward. I can’t help but feel terrible about it. Clearly, the way I responded was uncalled for, but I’d never felt so blindsided by something he’s done or said before.
“We should stop the games and give this a real go.”Where in the actual fuck did that come from?
It’s nearly three by now, and an email I started to type two hours ago is still sitting up on my computer, unfinished. Grabbing my phone, I do the only thing I can think to do; call Xander. Surely, he’ll have some good advice. Some guidance. He always has the answer.
After a few rings, it finally connects. “What’s up, man?” His deep voice sounds muffled, like maybe I’m on speakerphone.
“Hey, you busy?”
“Nah, not really. Driving back to work after going to the bank. What’s up?”
Giving him an extreme CliffsNotes version, I spend the next several minutes filling him in on all things Mateo, and all things MateoandTravis, including our very awkward post-coital conversation that led to him fleeing my room.
“Wow,” he mutters when I’m finally done.
“Yeah, wow.”
Xander breathes out a laugh. “What happened to there being nothing to worry about?”
“I don’t know,” I grumble. “It’s like the more I said I wanted nothing to do with him, the more he was there with his witchy abilities.”
He snorts. “Witchy abilities?”
“Yes, Xander, witchy abilities. His dick carries magic, I swear to God. And it’s like I’m incapable of controlling myself around him.Witchy abilities!”
A fit of laughter hits my ears, and I roll my eyes, regretting making this call at all. It sounds so stupid out loud. I sound like a lunatic. Hell, Ifeellike one.
After the laughter dies down, Xander blows out a breath. “Shit, maybe I was wrong about him after all.”
My eyes nearly bug out of my head. “Excuse me?”
“I mean, maybe give him a chance. Given his past and what he admitted to you about Nathaniel—if he’s telling the truth—then I think my initial judgement of him may have been wrong. He’s clearly proven he’s not going anywhere, and I highly doubt someone would go to this extent for something they wanted to be temporary.”
I scoff, appalled at what I’m hearing. “Xan, what the fuck happened to the whole be careful speech?”
“Well, yeah.” He laughs. “Of course, still be careful, but I don’t think you should shove away something you want strictly out of fear of getting hurt.”
“Who the hell says I want him?”
“Oh, come on, Travis.” I can practically hear his aggressive eye roll through the phone. “You’re not as slick as you think you are. The brief time I saw you two in the same room, you both practically radiated your feelings for one another. It’s okay to admit it, you know. I know Nathaniel hurt you badly, and I know you haven’t had the best luck with men in the past, but it’s still okay to admit when you care.”
I hate that he’s right on the nose. Hate that he can read me so easily.
“You know I’ll be the first to be straight up with you about a guy, Trav,” he continues. “If I truly thought he was bad news bears, I’d say that. But I’m admitting I may have been wrong about him before.”
“Well, fuck.” Blowing out a sigh, I mutter, “I’m an asshole.”
“Nothing a good ol’ fashion apology can’t fix,” Xander offers. “I’m not saying jump into a relationship with the guy, but at least keep your heart and mind open to the possibility, if that’s what you want.”
