“No, I haven’t,” he retorts. “I’m still exactly the same wild motherfucker I’ve always been. Exceptnow,I’m not ditching classes with you to smoke weed and play frisbee. I wear suits and drive a Maserati, and I fucka lot.I’m an adult who lives exactly the way he wants to live.” He pauses to lean in. “You should try it sometime.”
My heart feels like it’s being squeezed behind my ribcage. “What makes you think I don’t live the way I want to?”
He laughs dryly. “Do I need to remind you of the glory hole?”
Heat creeps up to my cheeks. “No, but—“
“Lance, listen. You and I both know the reason we stopped talking,” he goes on again, talking over me. “Now, if that’s something you want to keep ignoring forever, that’s your prerogative. But I can’t waste my time fawning over people who don’t know who they are, or what they want. It’s a habit I thought I’d broken…” His eyes flick left for a second. “But I guess I need to work at it a little harder.”
My forehead lines. “What does that even mean?”
“Nothing. Never mind.” Tate shakes his head. “It’s been great catching up, but I’m gonna go mingle. And you should too.” He arches a brow at me. “It’s what you came here for, right?”
“I came here to see old friends,” I tell him honestly, projecting over the tremor that wants to shake my voice. “I’m being serious, Tate. I was hoping you’d be here so I could tell you…”
“Oh God…” he sighs petulantly, but I ignore him.
“So I couldtell youhow sorry I am. About how we left things…”
“It was a long time ago, Hardy,” he huffs. “It’s fine to leave things in the past.”
I know I shouldn’t say this… There are so many reasons why I should just keep my mouth shut right now. But Ican’t…
The words come up like projectile vomit; like a symptom of standing so close to him again and looking at his face.
“But I never stopped thinking about it,” I whisper.
Tate’s eyes round. He blinks, and I witness his jaw clenching.
My lashes flutter and I shake my head. “I mean, our friendship… And how I treated you. How I… disappeared.”
A flicker of something hurt-adjacent flashes in his eyes, something I’ve seen once before, and it stabs me in the chest. But he covers it up quick and rolls his eyes, turning away from me.
“Don’t worry,” he grunts. “I’m over it.”
Before I can say anything else, Tate storms away—again—leaving me standing alone with my heart thumping…
More confused than ever.
Chapter Three
Lance
A smarter man probably would have left.
A surer man certainly would have.
But I’mnotsure… That’s the problem. That’sbeenthe problem, for longer than I care to think about right now.
Maybe I can fool myself into thinking I came here just to see old friends… But deep down, I know that isn’t exactly true. Which is why instead of coming straight to Kennan’s house, I went to the club first.
When I arrived in ABQ a few hours ago, I summoned all of the courage I could muster, picked a gay club, and forced myself to go in. But the moment I set foot inside the place, my chest felt like it was on fire.
There were eyes on me instantly, from all directions. Flirty smiles, winks… It was just too much, too fast. So I rushed into the restroom and threw myself into an available stall, just to get some privacy. To be alone for a second to think.
Was I making a huge mistake??
Had I just been fooling myself thinking I was ready for this… To confront my inner hang-ups in such an ostentatious manner?
