Europe can’t come fast enough…
Yet something tells me, no amount of time or distance will ever be enough.
It will always be Mason for me…
But he will always behers.Izzy’s. My twin sister’s. Mydeadtwin sister’s.
Because it doesn’t matter that she’s no longer here. He’s still hers, and always will be. At least when it comes to the two of us.
I have no doubt that one day he will be able to move on. It just won’t be, and can’t ever be, with me.
Moments on top of moments flash through my head. All the pain and grief we’ve suffered these last five years. Anguish that has chiseled a home in each of our chests—a black desert place that will never flourish or be filled again. A stain on our souls we’ll never be rid of, even if it gets a little easier with time to ignore.
Moments where I had to watch this boy I love mourn the loss of someone I know—deep down—he’d trade me for in a heartbeat if given the chance.
And I can’t even fucking blame him.
I can’t blame any of them.
Because it’s true, it’s true, andGod,do I wish I had the power to go back and switch places with her.
It would’ve been so much easier for everyone if it had been me…
But it wasn’t.
And this is all we are left with.
The ashes of our grief.
