I find him standing outside, his phone held in his hand, his eyes blinking out toward the busy street. He looks uncomfortable, not that I blame him. What he walked in on was…it was not something he should have seen.
“Hey,” I say, shifting next to him, side-eyeing him in awkward silence.
“Hey,” he says and then shakes his head with a sigh. “Dad, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to walk in on…whatever that was.”
I don’t know whatthatwas either, but here we are.
I run a hand over my face and eye him again. He must be so damn perplexed. My entire adult life I’ve been straight, and yet here I am, lusting after another man.
“I didn’t know you um…” He waves his hand in front of him and then blushes. Hell, I’m blushing too.
“Yeah, seems I do.”
He bobs his head. “Cool.”
We stand there in awkward silence, and Ben clears his throat. “I like Avery. He’s really nice.”
“He is.”
“Is it serious? Between you two?”
“No. I don’t know. It’s new.” I take a deep breath and blow it out. “But I haven’t felt like this in a long time.”
“Well, I’m glad. It’s been years since you’ve been serious about anyone…years since Mom.”
“I had a son to raise,” I say, and Ben bobs his head, and then he reaches over and pulls me into an awkward side hug. I pat his back, and then Ben pulls away and shoots a thumb over his shoulder.
“I’m gonna go back inside. Good talk.”
Just as he turns to leave, Ford comes out, his dark gaze on my son before it snaps to me.
“Everything okay here?” he asks, and I nod my head.
Ben flushes an even darker shade of red and moves past him, stumbling inside the garage.
“What’s that about?” I ask my best friend, and Ford just shrugs his shoulders, averting his eyes.
Obviously, something is going on, but I don’t have time to deal with it right now. Ben is an adult and whatever he’s got himself into, he can get out. If he needs me, he knows he can always come talk to me. Not that I’m much of a talker, but I’ll always support my son.
He’s the best thing about me and Elaine.
I can see her in his face, in the way that he smiles and laughs. He inherited all the best parts of her.
I follow my son back inside and glance up toward the door where Avery is, but I don’t go to him, despite wanting to. Instead, I just head back to the car I was working on before all this shit went down and get back to work.
I will talk with him after work. We can figure this out.
***
We, in fact, do not figure it out. Avery is quiet on the way home, his head turned toward the window, and I’m too nervous to start a conversation. I’m not sure if I should apologize or try touching him again.
Fuck, I want to try doing that again.
My dick has been in a constant state of hardness all day and I don’t think it’s healthy. I need to Google it and see if my cock is going to fall off. That would be just my luck. I find someone I’m sexually attracted to and end up dickless.
As soon as I park the car, Avery is stumbling out and nearly jogging into the house. I’m left to just sit there, my head on the steering wheel, breathing deeply.
I need to be an adult about this. I raised my son. I can manage a difficult conversation.
