Bodhi: I’m so sorry. I ruined everything and I wish things could be different, but this is the only way. I’m sorry.
Ice fills my veins as I read and reread that text. Hitting call, the ringing resounds through my car speakers, only for it to go to voicemail after a few rings. I redial immediately, heart stuttering as it goes straight to voicemail this time.His phone is off.
“Goddamnit!”
My fist connects with the steering wheel before finding Elias’s contact in my phone and hitting call. Voicemail.Fuck!Trying Camden, my chest aches as it rings and rings.
“Come on, Camden. Pick up.”
Just when I think it’s going to go to voicemail too, it connects. “Hello?”
“Camden,” I blurt out. “Something’s wrong. Something’s really wrong. Where are you?”
“Whoa, slow down,” he urges. “I just got to the airport in Rhode Island. Why, what’s up?”
“Fuck!” I can’t fucking think straight. Traffic is moving so fucking slowly. I need to get to Bodhi’s housenow. “I just got a very ominous text from Bodhi saying he’s sorry, and that he wishes things were different, but this is the only way. Something iswrong, Camden, and I’m stuck in traffic like five minutes from your house.”
“Fuck! Have you tried Elias?”
“Didn’t answer. Bodhi turned his phone off.” My voice cracks, emotion clogging my throat, making it hard to breathe or talk or think. Dread lines my gut. Something isn’t right.
“Okay… okay. Let me try Elias, and you just focus on getting to the house.”
“Okay… I can do that.”
“And Jules?”
“Yeah?”
“It’ll be okay. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay. Just breathe.”
We hang up, and I do my best to weave through the cars. I’m so fucking close, if they would just move.
Finally pulling into the driveway, I barely get the car turned off before I’m out, running up the steps and entering the security code to unlock the door. Thank God I learned the code a few weeks ago.
Practically ripping the door off the hinges, I step inside. No lights are on, not a sound to be heard.
“Bodhi!” Running through the living room and dining room, I twist the handle to his room.Locked.Fuck! “Bodhi, open the door!”
When he doesn’t answer, I run to the kitchen, grabbing a butter knife, bringing it back to twist the lock open. My eyes find him lying on the floor, pale—so fucking pale. Puke or foam, or something drips out of his mouth, and as my gaze shifts, noticing the empty orange pill bottle on the ground beside him, I know.
Pain shreds through my chest as I cross the room, a guttural roar clawing its way up my throat as I drop to my knees before him, one hand going to his hair while my other fumbles with unlocking my phone. With shaky fingers, I manage to dial 9-1-1 and beg for help to come save him. Bringing his head onto my lap, my chest tightens as I stare down at his lifeless body. His left cheek is busted open and swollen black and blue, lips chapped and cracked open, and when I press two fingers to his neck to check for a pulse, I’m not even sure if I feel anything or if I’m just hoping I do.
“What did you do,” I sob, tears falling from my face onto him. “Why, Bodhi? Why?”
I shake his body, begging him to wake up.Please, just please open your eyes. Let me see those beautiful icy blue eyes. Please, Bodhi.
The sheer panic racing through my body is rising each second I sit here and he doesn’t wake up. The desperation to do whatever it takes to help him consumes me until my body is moving of its own volition, fingers shoving past his parted lips until they’re lodged in his throat. Bringing his body to a slant, I shove deeper until I feel his stomach heave.
“Don’t you fucking die on me, Bodhi.” My vision blurs as tears pour down my face. “Don’t fucking die on me. You can’t leave me,” I cry, voice hoarse and cracked as I try to get his stomach to empty. “You die, I die, you hear me?! You can’t fucking leave me. I can’t lose you.”
The sound of feet pounding against the hardwood rips my gaze up from Bodhi to the door as Elias steps in. His eyes find Bodhi, horror washing over his features, immediately falling to his knees. “Oh, my God.” Hands find his hair as his eyes well up. “What happened?”
“I-I don’t know. I found him like this. He must’ve taken the pills.”
The room is closing in on me. I can’t breathe, can’t drag in enough oxygen. I need him to be okay. He can’t not be okay. He can’t die.
He just can’t.
