“I lost a lot of money tonight, you little asshole. And you’re going to help me repay it.”
“W-what? How am I going to do that? I don’t even have a job.”
Somehow, before the words even leave his mouth, I already know it has nothing to do with actual money. “You’re going to use your mouth for something other than swallowing food down your fat fucking gullet.”
The realization of what he’s asking of me washes over me like acid rain, a building panic rising in my stomach. “Charles, no!”
My voice is shrill and too loud, and before I can even get anything else out, he’s shoving me against the wall so hard, the air is punched out of my lungs and my head hits the wall with a loud thud. “Listen here, you little shit. You’re going to do as I say, and you’re going to do it without a fucking peep, because if you don’t, I’ll tell Mom all about the little binging and purging you’ve been doing for the last year.”
Eyes widening, I part my lips to tell him he’s wrong, but he cuts me off. “Don’t even try to deny it, Bodhi. You act like I’m so fucking stupid. Nobody who loves food as much as you do loses weight as fast as you have for any other reason. You’re fucking pathetic and disgusting. But if you don’t do as I say, Mom will find out and then your fun little weight loss journey will be over.”
Everything I want to say in protest is on the tip of my tongue, but because I’m a fucking coward, I say none of it. He lets go of my throat, turning to reach for the handle to the garage before pausing and glancing at me over his shoulder once more.
“I fucking mean it, Bodhi. Not a fucking peep when we go in there.”
It’s so dark when we enter, it takes my eyes a minute to adjust. One of the guys from poker—I can’t make out which one—is sitting with his back to us at a table. “There you are,” he grumbles, voice thick with liquor. “Started to think you were going to leave me hangin’, King.”
Charles chuckles, his grip on my wrist tightening as we make our way toward the table. “Man, I told you I would be back. Just finding you the right person for the job.”
“Yeah? Did you find her?” the man, who I now can tell is Richard, one of the salesmen at the dealership, asks.
“Of course, I did. I wouldn’t let you down, now, would I?” Charles shoves me down until my knees hit the concrete floor. I barely contain a grunt as the pain ricochets through my legs. “Found you a nice virgin mouth to fill.”
Richard groans, the sound causing my stomach to twist painfully. “You’re at least legal, right, sweetheart?”
He’s asking me, but of course, Charles answers for me. “She’s a little shy… her first time doing something like this. She’s old enough, and she’s eager to please.”
With one more rough shove, I’m under the table, my eyes having adjusted enough to barely make out Richard reaching for his pants. My blood runs cold, chest tightening as I hear him slide his zipper down.
The next five minutes are something from my worst nightmare. Richard reaches down, grabbing my head, forcing himself past my lips, and I have to really work at not gagging as the musky scent of his sweat surrounds me. He doesn’t last long, but in the moment, it feels like an eternity. I’m somehow able to take myself somewhere else entirely while he thrusts upward into my mouth, hands fisting my hair. In my mind, I’m at Ryan’s house. Hanging out with him in his room, just the two of us, listening to music and talking. I’m listening to him tell me all about how football practice is going and what new chick he’s talking to lately. I’m anywhere other than where I physically am.
By the time I stumble back into my room, tears mark my cheeks, and I can’t breathe. I crawl onto my bed, lifting the covers up to my chin, and I lie on my side with my knees pressed to my chest. Rocking myself over and over, I’m able to calm down enough to finally fall asleep. The events of tonight haunt my dreams, and many nights after.
Chapter Ten
Bodhi King
Jules: Come on, Bodhi. It’s been a week. I think you can talk to me.
Staring down at the watch where the text came through, images flash in my mind without my permission. Images of his large, hard body pressed against mine. Images of his lips molded with mine, tongue caressing mine.
It’s too much.
All of it. I can’t process what happened, and it’s driving me mad. It never should’ve happened. Just like going to dinner a second time shouldn’t have happened. But I knew that… from the beginning, didn’t I? I knew it, and I could’ve stopped it. Could’ve told Giselle no.
But I didn’t.
I walked into the lion’s den, knowing what I was getting myself into. Knowing what could happen. I knew and did it anyway, and that makes me a fool. A pathetic fucking fool. And what’s worse is the way I crave it. The way I undoubtedly wish it would happen again, despite how wrong it is.
It’s close to ninety degrees outside, with seventy percent humidity. It’s hot, the air is thick and suffocating, and it’s the second time I’ve run today. My feet slap the pavement, sweat pouring down my back, along my brow line, across my neck. With the black long-sleeve and black running pants I’ve got on, the severe perspiration is no surprise. My mouth is dry, throat aching for some water. But I can’t stop… not yet.
I’m almost there.
I’m almost to ten miles. Twenty miles, if you count this morning’s run too. If I just push a little harder, work my legs a little longer. I can do this, and then maybe all my bad decisions and inappropriate desires will wash away with the sweat flooding out of my pores. Maybe I can work this obsession out of my body.
My head feels light, legs screaming at me to stop. They shake like they could give out any minute, but I’m so close.
Come on, Bodhi. You can do this.
