“Man, it’s not even that serious. You blowing me, G. Got damn.”
“You can go home,” I chuckled angrily before poking my cheek with my tongue. I wanted to remain calm, but he was making it hard. “If you think what you did was appropriate, then we have no business being in a relationship. You caredmore about taunting Jermaine than humiliating me, and that’s a problem for me. Goodbye.”
“Yo you serious right now?”
“As a heart attack,” I folded my arms across my chest.
“This shit lame as hell, G. I’m out.”
“And don’t come back!”
Wilde glared at me for a few seconds and then flicked the tip of his nose. “You got it, baby.”
My heart shattered as he pivoted and walked out of my bedroom. He didn’t apologize. He didn’t fight. He gave up super easy, and that was disheartening. I sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes as tears spilled over my lids and rolled down my cheeks. The salty tears that coated my lips pissed me off. After Drew, I told myself that no other man would ever be worth my tears. Yet, there I was, crying over Wilde’s disrespectful ass, and I was angry.
I sat on my bed and stared down at my phone screen. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to text, call, or come back in. I didn’t know, but with each second that ticked by, I realized he wasn’t coming back. Closing my eyes, I wanted lean more than I wanted it since I had completely recovered from withdrawals. I didn’t want to feel. It was too familiar, too much, and too heavy. I didn’t know where to find any cough syrup but even if I did, drinking lean would be a major step backwards. I had come too far to turn back. I never wanted to go through being addicted to codeine again, and I hated that I was so weak that one bad argument with Wilde made me want to take ten steps back into a habit that wasn’t good for my mind or my body.
As much as I didn’t want to cry, as soon as I laid down and closed my eyes, I began to sob. Tears leaked through my closed lids, even though I was squeezing them tight. Finally, I stopped fighting it, and I told myself to get it all out. Be human and letmyself feel because it would be the last time that I ever cried over Wilde Hunter’s disrespectful ass.
After work,I sat in my car and forwarded Nina all of the information for the cake, venue, and mobile bartending service that I had already put nonrefundable deposits on. I wasn’t going to completely lose my money, so the party was still on. I just wasn’t planning it or attending. I couldn’t stand Wilde at the moment, but I still wanted him to have his party. Nina wasn’t going to attend, either, because she didn’t want to see Pierre, but she was going to get everything set up and let his mother and grandmother take over. It had been two days since our argument, and he still hadn’t reached out to me. Maybe he felt I wasn’t worthy of an apology, and that was fine. I didn’t need closure to move on. I was going to move on regardless.
I had leftovers from the night before, so I didn’t have to stop and get food or cook. I completed the wrap on one car and started on another before calling it a day. When I arrived at home, I was instantly perturbed by the sight of Wilde’s vehicle parked out front. I wasn’t in the mood to see his face, and I was taking my key back from him. He was only in jail for a month, and he literally broke up with me to keep me from holding him down. But once he was released, we’d been inseparable. His disregard for how ole girl’s post made me look still had me pissed off. It didn’t matter how many speeches I’d heard from people saying I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks about me. His actions were humiliating.
Especially since there were people out there that still chose to believe that Drew was dead because him and Wilde were beefingover me. The moment I pushed the front door open, I spotted Wilde sitting on my couch.
“Give me my key back,” I stated in a tone thick with attitude.
His forearms rested on his legs. Wilde peered at me with a solemn expression that would have made me moist any other time, but it had no effect on me as I stared back at him, and for that, I was proud.
“I’m sorry.” Wilde’s tone was low, but I heard him loud and clear.
“Okay, that’s good to know. Key please.” I held out my hand, and he stared at me blankly.
“So, an apology isn’t good enough? We’re supposed to be in a relationship, and because I made a mistake, you’re ready to throw it away?”
I threw my hands up in exasperation. “Yeah, it’s all my fault. Blame it on me. Whatever helps you sleep better.”
“I’m trying!”
“Not hard enough! You were wrong!” I pointed at him. “But you didn’t apologize that night. You left without putting up any kind of a fight. Two days passed, and you still didn’t care to reach out to me. But now, one funky ass ‘I’m sorry’ is supposed to be the end all be all?” I screeched.
Wilde shook his head. “I swear, man.” He stood up and removed my key from his key ring. “I’m not used to relationships. You gotta give me some grace. I’ll give you your key back and give you some space. But I’m not walking away from the relationship. How long are we going to do this?”
“’Til I say when, nigga!” I barked at him.
“You got that,” Wilde pushed out a low laugh. After placing my key in my hand, he walked out of the apartment.
Flopping down on the couch, I rested my head on the back of it and stared up at the ceiling. The picture was disrespectful indeed, but did I want to end my relationship over it? It wasstupid and uncalled for, but I didn’t believe that Wilde cheated. Did that make me naïve? My main fear was that if I let the disrespect slide once, he’d never stop doing it. I had to put my foot down and set boundaries because I would be damned if my relationship was a repeat of what I had with Drew or what Nina and Pierre had.
Relationships were hard, and it was frustrating as hell. I needed time, and I needed to pray on the situation to figure out if it would be in my best interest to forgive Wilde. Only time would tell. A person didn’t need newspapers or to watch the local news to find out what was going on around the way. During my usual late night scrolling, I saw that someone had posted a picture of a baby and tagged a female named Misha in it. Even though the newborn in the photo was fresh out of the womb and was still swollen and really had none of its permanent features, someone in the comments swore the child was the spitting image of Wilde. So, his baby has been born. Even though I already knew about the baby, it was still like a dagger to my heart. The shit would never end.
Iunbuckled Willow’s car seat and stared into her round face. Almost as soon as she slid out of Misha, I had the paternity test done, and she was, in fact, my child. I only visited her at Misha’s house for the first three weeks, and then I started taking her with me. When I had her, I always took her to my grandmother’s house or my father’s house, then I would take her to my house. I would get her two to three times a week and keep her for five to six hours at a time. She hadn’t started spending nights just yet, but I was working my way up to that. In the month that Willow had been in the world, I had become a pro at changing diapers, feeding, burping, and bathing my shorty. I had to admit that being a father wasn’t so bad. Misha wasn’t even that annoying. I gave her money weekly, and I took care of my baby. There wasn’t anything bad she could say about a nigga for real.
I walked up to the door and rang the bell. I would have kept her longer, but Pierre was adamant about me going to some watch party with him. I wasn’t really in the mood. When I wasn’t working, I was writing, or spending time with my daughter. Iwas almost done with my second book and lowkey in my feelings that Wonder wasn’t around to read it. My first book had made me more than $2,000 so far and for something that I wasn’t sure people would read, that was damn good, in my opinion. After giving her the key back, I reached out to her three times, but she ignored me. I loved her, but I was gon’ give her what she wanted and fall back. I regretted getting drunk and high and taking that dumb ass picture with Deshay, but it was done. All I could do was apologize, and if she wouldn’t accept it, there was nothing I could do about it.
Misha opened the door, and I walked in. She finally had her own place, and I got my daughter everything she needed for her room. “If you don’t have to work Friday, can you get her around two? I have a doctor’s appointment, and I don’t want to take her with me.”
“Yeah, I’ll come get her at like noon.”
